Girl Gets Butt Kicked, Remedies with Sandwich

Hello Readers, and welcome to the Happiness Project.  It’s been a particularly stressful day following a particularly stressful week involving closing my credit card because it was stolen and used fraudulently, driving sales day in and day out only to be pushed back in the negative sales plan by a blizzard preventing business, state budget protests, financial concerns, and zero time to write creatively or even read more than a few pages before falling asleep with the little LED booklight poking me in the eye.

But, Jess, you say, we come to you to provide us with the ever-positive, try again and try harder, funny outlook from a new writer!  All together now…”We shall overcome, we shall overcome…”

Right, right, we’ll kumbaya later.  So what is it that’s getting me through the end of the day this time?  A bologna sandwich and chardonnay.

My looming pile of books and writing ideas to get to, topped with the last few bites of my bologna and mustard sandwich and a cold glass of Chardonnay!

Time to make a manageable list, and I emphasize manageable.  Flashback to the store today, I think I spoke into the radio system something like: “Jess to Leadership Team, I’m stepping off the floor for a few minutes.  I just need to cry in a stockroom update the scoreboards.”

Pity party check in:  Me.  Check!  Junk food.  Check!  (I admit half a can of Pringles was downed before I made the sandwich.)  Looming deadline for two writing contests I’ve sworn to enter.  CHECK!  To Do List?  *rifles through some wine glass coaster papers, smooths out wrinkled edges*

  1. Quit whining.
  2. Take a sip.
  3. Take time to journal 5  things to be grateful for today.
  4. Get the bottle out of the fridge, swig!  No one’s watchin’.
  5. Finish reading Pope Joan, 60 pages to go, and one upcoming book review from yours truly.
  6. Designate time in your week’s schedule for writing devoted time to work on entry submissions.
  7. Freewrite a new section of your story-in-progress.  Deadline:  Saturday.
  8. Send out love, support, and kudos to your fellow writers!

How do you deal with meltdowns?  What sparks the creative juices in you when your life’s got you down?  What are your current happiness projects this week?

P.S.  Did I ever mention every Tuesday night is band practice at my house?  I find it strangely ironic that they’re learning Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire” while I write about my crumbling grip on sanity.  You know what they say, you can’t make up real life.  Happy writing!

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34 responses

  1. Just don’t swallow a handful of pills and wander off into a cave hoping to die or anything.

    Pringles are one of those snacks that definitely requiring pacing, otherwise you’re bound to look down and find that – oops – half the can is gone in an instant.

    1. Thanks for the concern. I’ll try not to swallow any pills, but I make no promises on the cave part.

  2. I sympathise. Deeply. Picture me strumming on my Ukelele and singing “Kumbaya”…Or maybe don’t. As for getting through my meltdowns, I have “Take no prisoners” written on my whiteboard for this week. I’ve got off my butt and sold my spare unicycle to contribute to the household budget and come up with a new ambitious plan for capitalising on my skills – I’m looking into running a course on writing plays for community theatre.
    Sounds to me like you’re doing the right things: sticking to your goals, holding your head up, reaching for the bottle and crying IN the cupboard. Funny, isn’t it, that telling your readers you cry in the cupboard is a liberating thing, but letting your colleagues at work see you crying would be a bad thing….Anyway, I hope things get better. I accidentally published a poem instead of a blog today (me, me, me, it’s all about me….) so karmically, I think you’re ahead. Hurry up, I want to hear about Pope Joan!

    1. Maybe you and I could throw a pity party sometime, I’ll bring the Pringles, you bring the unicycle! Book review on Friday!

  3. How I deal with meltdown? Perfect! This was my blog for tonight (written and ready to post). 🙂 Anyway, during a melt down, I sing, stretch or walk around for about ten minutes to twenty minutes and then get back to work. I just tell myself that someday, I’ll be laughing at it. In the mean time, I’ll do my best. 🙂

    1. Where was your strength and wisdom when I was spreading mustard on the bologna?!! lol. I’ll be checking out your post, thanks for its timely topic!

  4. It’s the middle of February, We all have days like this in the middle of February. July is coming.

    1. At our rate, we’ll still have snow mounds melting in July!

  5. […] has bad days.  The blogger and author Kristen Lamb talked about hers last week.  Jess Witkins has hers for two weeks.  If we are experiencing it, we would need to find at least fifteen minutes […]

  6. Oh, Jess, nothing in life is so bad that I’d sip chardonnay while eating bologna and mustard. Though, maybe it’s a good strategy. Anything looks better in comparison. Hope you’re feeling better today.

    1. Oh Margaret, it wasn’t all that bad. The mustard had a nice kick to it! Next time I’ll try to channel you and make tea instead.

      1. I’m not much of a beer fan, but beer seems like it would go well with bologna, and how about some of those Pringles chips on the sandwich. Huh? Huh? 😉

  7. Bologna and Chardonnay? Hmmm…I might have to add that to my menu 🙂

    I LOVED your pity party checklist – perfect! I hope you managed to get everything done without losing your mind.

    1. Take that Margaret! Another reader declaring bologna and wine isn’t all that bad!!! Thanks for stopping by, I’m still working on my projects!

  8. I prefer beating myself over the head with a tamberine. That usually gets the creative juices flowing in no time.

    1. I’ll have to try that next time. It sounds healthier anyway.

  9. […] eating cheetos for dinner anymore.  I’ve upgraded, to bologna…with […]

  10. […] My forward movement hit a wall the day I posted about eating bologna with a glass of Chardonnay. […]

  11. […] healthier.  (I’m well of aware of the bologna incident, and the write like potatoes incident, and the double stuff oreos incident in spite of my mother.  […]

  12. […] weakness where I ate a bologna sandwich and drank Chardonnay after a bad day.  My only fault was blogging about it (with picture evidence, no less) because now I’ll never live it […]

  13. […] in retail, traveled to exotic locations like Italy, Ireland, and Shipshewana, Indiana, and she’s eaten bologna and lived to tell about it!  She deals with it all and writes about it!  Come along on her […]

  14. […] worked in retail, traveled to exotic locations like Italy, Ireland, andShipshewana, Indiana, and she’s eaten bologna and lived to tell about it!  She deals with it all and writes about it!  Come along on her midwest adventures; Witkins […]

  15. […] in retail, traveled to exotic locations like Italy, Ireland, and Shipshewana, Indiana, and she’s eaten bologna and lived to tell about it!  She deals with it all and writes about it!  Come along on her […]

  16. […] in retail, traveled to exotic locations like Italy, Ireland, and Shipshewana, Indiana, and she’s eaten bologna and lived to tell about it!  She deals with it all and writes about it!  Come along on her […]

  17. […] in retail, traveled to exotic locations like Italy, Ireland, and Shipshewana, Indiana, and she’s eaten bologna and lived to tell about it!  She deals with it all and writes about it!  Come along on her […]

  18. […] in retail, traveled to exotic locations like Italy, Ireland, and Shipshewana, Indiana, and she’s eaten bologna and lived to tell about it!  She deals with it all and writes about it!  Come along on her […]

  19. […] in retail, traveled to exotic locations like Italy, Ireland, and Shipshewana, Indiana, and she’s eaten bologna and lived to tell about it! She deals with it all and writes about it! Come along on her midwest […]

  20. […] or you’ll never live it down.  In the infamous post of what dinner looks like on a bad day, Girl Gets Butt Kicked, Remedies With Sandwich I had more than my fair share of bologna jokes and references for blog posts well into the next […]

  21. […] in retail, traveled to exotic locations like Italy, Ireland, and Shipshewana, Indiana, and she’s eaten bologna and lived to tell about it!  She deals with it all and writes about it!  Come along on her […]

  22. […] but I felt weird about the whole thing thanks to Jess Witkins’ confessional about her own bologna sandwich experience last February. Maybe it wasn’t the bologna so much as the fact that she paired it with a […]

  23. […] in retail, traveled to exotic locations like Italy, Ireland, and Shipshewana, Indiana, and she’s eaten bologna and lived to tell about it!  She deals with it all and writes about it!  Come along on […]

  24. […] in retail, traveled to exotic locations like Italy, Ireland, and Shipshewana, Indiana, and she’s eaten bologna and lived to tell about it!  She deals with it all and writes about it!  Come along on her […]

  25. […] in retail, traveled to exotic locations like Italy, Ireland, and Shipshewana, Indiana, and she’s eaten bologna and lived to tell about it! She deals with it all and writes about it! Come along on her […]

  26. […] in retail, traveled to exotic locations like Italy, Ireland, and Shipshewana, Indiana, and she’s eaten bologna and lived to tell about it!  She deals with it all and writes about it!  Come along on her […]

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