Welcome to my 80’s party dudes and dudettes! I know we’ve all been anxiously catching Oscar flicks and madly discussing who the big winners will be come awards day, but all that cinematic mumbo-jumbo needed a rest!
It was time for something fearless!
Something with some flair!
Something along the lines of a…
Guilty Pleasure, Baby!
Oooh yah, yours truly had an impromptu 80’s party at her place last night and the film to be seen was none other than the Hollywood montage Rock legend mash up hysteria that is:
Rock of Ages
Sweet baby Jesus, have you guys seen this film?!
I can’t decide whether this homage to Rock Gods and their classic jams is brilliantly epic or a tragic wasteland of sticky floors caused by the tears of naive women who wear denim corsets to rock concerts.
While the film is studded, often literally – note* even the microphones! – with several stars: Alec Baldwin, Julianne Hough, Tom Cruise, Paul Giamatti, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Bryan Cranston, Russell Brand, Malin Ackerman, Mary J. Blige, one really gets the impression that shooting this film was a marriage between awkward escapist journalism done out of the back of your mother’s minivan with Saturday Night Live practice sketches gone horribly awry.
There’s a sick, twisted underbelly to the characters in this movie that makes me think they all enjoyed making this film. And for that reason, it’s really hard to say I didn’t like it. It may have won me over.
Could you say no to this?!
Yah. Pretty amazing, right? It’s like curled bangs and colored glasses amazing!
The fact that this movie is sooo over the top makes me forgive its complete and utter cheese factor and just enjoy the ride. Tom Cruise is a greased up, tattoed Rock God who embodies every cliche’ known to rock musicians. He has the girls, the band who’s not as cool as he is, the fans who will love him no matter what, the creeper manager, a broken heart, and best of all, a baboon who responds to the name “Hey Man.”
Julianne Hough plays Sherri, a girl who dreams of becoming a singer. Oddly enough, she doesn’t achieve this, her boyfriend does, only she’s the one who helps him get there… But I suppose if this movie were a rock concert, her stolen dreams are nothing a shot glass and some sweaty leather won’t fix! Tubular!
Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand come in to play as the owner/staff of The Bourbon Room, a once star making venue but soon to be shut down and sold if they can’t make some money soon. Dang, that’s like grody to the max, man!
Each character faces their own antagonist, be it a slimy, double-crossing manager with no business on top but too much party in the back (Paul Giamatti), a Fairy Godmother/Female Hustler who dresses like a genie and has more ‘do changes than Sean Combs’ had names, you know P. Diddy, I mean Puff Daddy (Mary J. Blige). Or it could be the vengeful ex-girlfriend on a mission for all conservatives out there, and that is to shut down your bar (Catherine Zeta-Jones).
But I dare you to watch this film and NOT sing along!
I don’t think it can be done.
So for that reason, even though I fully admit it’s a bit of a dud. You may even ask, Where’s the beef? But this 80’s rock musical is totally rad. And take a chill pill anyway, we’re not talking Oscar noms here!
What’s a totally terrible movie you love? Go ahead, indulge! I won’t judge you.
Wait…you like what?! Gag me with a spoon!