Guilty Pleasures Friday ~ Embarrassing My Kids by Julie Glover

I’m so pleased to welcome our first Guilty Pleasures Guest of the year!  If you haven’t been following Julie Glover on her blog Threading the Labyrinth, you’re missing out!  With posts on wordplay and word games, ROW80 motivations, and even High School memories, Julie is a fun and inspiring blogger!  Just check out her bio!

Julie GloverAs a city girl from the Lone Star State, Julie Glover owns both go-go boots and cowboy boots; has been to Broadway shows and rodeos; enjoys chateaubriand and rattlesnake sausage; and likes Led Zeppelin and Rascal Flatts. When she isn’t daydreaming about a personal chef or wrestling the family’s laundry, Julie pens mysteries and young adult fiction.

Thanks so much for kicking off our Guilty Pleasure Fridays, Julie!  Can’t wait to hear what no good you’re up to!  Take it away!

*****

When I received word from Jess that I would get to write a guest post about my guilty pleasure, I struggled with the topic:

Um, okay, what’s my guilty pleasure? *tapping fingers on desk* Guilty pleasure, guilty pleasure… *tapping*

I can’t think of anything! I have NO guilty pleasures.

Am I doing nothing decadent?! What happened to the rebel I once was? Was I ever a rebel? Sheesh.

I’m not perfect. I’m plenty guilty. I swipe my son’s chocolate when he’s not looking and neglect housework so long that a HazMat team might simply throw up their hands. I can be selfish and annoying. But I’m not proud of that. It’s not pleasurable.

So what do I take pleasure in…that maybe I shouldn’t do quite so much?

Aha! Embarrassing my kids.

Which isn’t hard now that they are both teens.

I don’t want to cause permanent shame or public humiliation or spur my children to consider joining the circus instead because those people must draw less attention than their uncool mother. But hey, they embarrassed me like crazy when they were toddlers throwing fits in Walmart, Chuck E. Cheese, McDonald’s, you-name-it!

A sampling of the payback:

Mama in Pajamas.  A couple of years ago, my sons kept missing the bus and asking me to drive them to school. Taking them there and returning home sucked about 30 minutes out of my day. That’s 30 minutes I could be cleaning, writing, painting my toenails. Unacceptable!

I explained that I would happily take them to school if they missed the bus. But I would wear whatever I happened to have on. Note that the rest of my family showers and leaves before I even start my daily grooming.

The first time my son missed the bus, I drove him to school in my jammies, robe, slippers and let him out in the car line.

The second time he missed, I parked the car. And walked him to the entrance—jammies, robe, slippers.

That evening, my husband suggested to me and said son that I give him a goodbye hug next time. After all, our son needed to know how much we love him.

He was never late again. *grin*

Mama Loves You.  The threat that I might kiss a kid in public is enough to send either boy into pleas for mercy. Those little boys who once gave me big hugs and smackeroos when they were in preschool are now young men who prefer to save their lips for future girlfriends.

Yet I constantly try to give those big boys some much-needed PDA. And I snapped this pic, which could be used at any time to embarrass my son on Facebook.

Mom & Christian

Oh wait. I guess I already did it here. *grin*

Mama Has Sex.  This is a shocker to all children everywhere, right?

If we ever want to clear the room, all my husband and I need to do is melt into one another’s arms and let our mouths comingle. Four rolled eyes and five seconds later, our kids are nowhere to be seen.

But our vocal flirtations really leave my kids blushing crimson and me tickled pink. For instance, the time during dinner when my husband alluded to his desire to see me shirtless left my sons speechless.

Guess they know now. Mama and Daddy didn’t just do it those two times. *grin*

I threaten to embarrass my kids more than I do. Since I have managed to embarrass my kids a time or two or twenty, they’re never quite certain when I might act. Keeping your kids on edge a little can be a good thing.

In case my sons are reading this post, I want to assure them that my karaoke act is ready at any time that the music piped through grocery store so moves me. I kept all of your naked baby pictures. And the school dance needs more chaperones, especially ones who can teach both the Chicken Dance and Gangnam Style.

*****

Thanks again Julie for guest posting!  Remind me not to get on your bad side, I fear the repercussions!  I can just see it now, you walking into the DFW Writers Conference in your jammies, robe and slippers!  

Got a guilty pleasure story to share?  Can you top Julie’s embarrassing kid stories?  Share with us!

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26 responses

  1. Oh! Love it… I’m personally still at the Chuck E. Cheese and McDonald’s side of the embarrassment scales, but I am working on my “revenge”. Lots of baby pictures… Yes, Mom and Dad like sex, stuff like that.

    Thanks for a great smile worthy post!

    1. Trust me, we regret those moments when they show up on our graduation boards! Mine had some crazy hair for sure, and wigs…(my siblings used me as a live doll), but my brother had it the worst! My mom put a picture up of him in a diaper and her high heels singing into a turkey baster! Yikes! That’s brutal! LOL

      1. Ouch! My sympathy to your brother! But really, in the end, it’s all good. We love our parents and we love our kids… And in the end, it’s laughter and joy.

    2. Thanks, Eden! Yes, you will get your turn. I also remember being embarrassed by my mother as a teenager. My protests just made her smile. Now I know she was thinking “payback.”

  2. Oh, these are hilarious! My daughter was taught not to care what others think, so she’s not easy to embarass, but my husband tries! He whips out his best, rednecky, non-politically-correct jokes and sometimes even farts at the dinner table! The boyfriend is used to it by now.

    1. I’d say that’s a good boyfriend. LOL

    2. He farts??? Oh my goodness! Now that’s commitment, Jennette.

  3. My father is as foul-mouthed as I am. For some reason, this embarrassed me as a kid. My friends loved hearing my dad’s colorful talk, but I just incinerated.

    My guilty pleasure is sleeping late. I don’t get to sleep past 6:30 very often (even on weekends), but I love it when I can.

    1. Yah, my humor has gone more towards my dad’s side of the family now that I’ve grown but I can remember family reunions where my uncles chased each other around over who got to eat the tongue from the pig roast we were doing. Oh yah, MORTIFIED!

    2. Catie, my father told jokes. They were funny…the first time. But I heard the same joke again and again used on different audiences, and I wanted to crawl under the table. Now I find myself saying, “Tell that joke about ___ to my kids, Dad.” LOL.

  4. What great fun! Keep the kids on their toes so they never know what you’ll do–I love it, Julie! I don’t think I can top those stories, but I will remember them. Just in case.
    Jess, thanks for getting Julie to share. 😉

    1. Thanks for commenting, Diana! You’ll have to start a list of great embarrassing ideas to do to the ones you love!

      Hmm…that’s a good idea! 😉

    2. Believe me, you don’t have to work hard to embarrass your kids at some point. Just being yourself is enough. LOL. Thanks, Diana!

  5. I’ve always said one of the best reasons to have kids is because you can embarrass them. My favorite moment? Placing a pink stuffed animal in my teenage son’s backpack before school. He had no idea until he unzipped it later in the day. Classic!

    1. See, that’s a funny harmless prank. My dad would try to scare me. Against my mother’s wishes, my dad put up this creepy plastic outdoor nativity scene that lit up in our garden. The donkey, in particular, was the creepiest. And it was a joke for our neighbor to move the animal and place it in different locations around the house.

      One day, while coming home from work, I almost slipped and fell because I rounded the corner and it was RIGHT THERE on our steps! I totally screamed.

      My dad thought this was the funniest game ever and moved the thing into my room right by the bed, but on the opposite side from the door, so you wouldn’t see it until you were about to snuggle in for the night.

      I have a very cruel father…Don’t get any ideas, Mark! Or at least tell Audrey and Rusty I’m sorry!

      1. OMG! My bro-in-law let my niece watch Chucky. Then he took a Chucky look alike doll, taped a knife to it’s hand and stuck it in her bed under the covers. If that weren’t enough, he went to her door and knocked on it down at the bottom at doll height. Can you say traumatized??? LOL She’d start screaming every time she saw the doll. They ended up putting it in the attic and lots of years later when they were clearing out the attic, she freaked out again. She’s an adult now with no residual problems surprisingly – but she still has a Chucky phobia. Go figure.

        1. OMG! I totally feel her pain. I have an irrational fear of dolls coming to life too! I blame Chucky and the ventriloquist dummy from the R.L. Stine books. *shudder*

    2. That’s hilarious, Mark! Every year, I threaten to give my sons a Barbie for Christmas, but I’ve never made good on that threat. I think I’m waiting to make it a wedding present.

      Honestly, the effort put into harmless, laughter-inducing pranks can actually communicate love to kids. Your prank sounds wonderful for that!

      1. Oh, I gave my son a purple Barney the dinosaur doll for his birthday one year. I think he was 14 or so. 🙂

        1. My parents gave my brother a Cabbage Patch Doll when he was in High School. It must be a trend!

  6. […] I always enjoy seeing two of my favorite bloggers in the same place. This time, it’s Jess Witkins and Julie Glover. Guilty Pleasures Friday – Embarrassing My Kids […]

  7. […] Which isn’t hard now that they are both teens. Read more… […]

  8. Just seeing this. Hilarious, Julie! I can just imagine. What a fun mom you must be. 🙂

  9. Great examples of how to embarass our teenage boys. I use the kissing thing with my fourteen year old son. Works every time. My 22-year-old daughter is harder to embarass, but I’ve learned that she cannot fathom reading one of my steamier scenes…and she reads far hotter stuff on fan fiction than I’d ever write. They also get embarassed because I like to make up rhyming songs wherever we are…doesn’t matter that I’m horribly off-key. So much fun. 🙂

    As far as guilty pleasures, too many to name here, although I write about one pretty much every week over at my Margarita Moments blog.

    Thanks, Jess, for inviting Julie to guest blog. She’s a cool gal.

    1. Julie is a phenomenal gal! So happy to have her here!!!

      Weekly guilty pleasures you say? I’m intrigued. Totally coming over to your place now!

  10. […] Jess drew some winners from her experiment, and I was among them, getting to post on her blog about my guilty pleasure and receiving two “mix tape” CDs from […]

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