Things Joe Says When He’s Sleeping

Joe Sleeping Cartoon

Exhibit A: Joe sleeping

My fiance talks in his sleep. And nothing he says makes sense.

The conversations he has while sleeping rarely relate to anything we’ve done during the day. Although I guess I could count the time we watched The Walking Dead one Sunday night and he muttered this gem while asleep:

Joe: Why are there no zombies in Australia?

Me: What?

Joe: *shouts* WHY??

Who shouts in their sleep about zombie settlements?!

In the words of my mother, “You’re not allowed to watch those shows before bedtime anymore.”

This weekend, he apparently was quoting movie lines in his sleep, but I didn’t get the reference. All I heard was this:

Joe: Be happy in your work, Pear.

Me: What?

Joe: Be happy in your work, Pear.

Me: Who’s Pear?

Joe: You are. You’re my little Pear Juice.

Me: *shakes head, rolls over, goes back to bed*

He was quoting lines from the movie, Club Dread, a film we watched MONTHS ago.

There’s a Pac-Man like maze in the movie where the employees dress up like fruit.

Β You better run, Banana!

I can only hope that the ludicrous things coming out of his mouth continue and that this can become a reoccurring blog series. Sure he’s talking about zombie migration and bad Broken Lizard films today, but tomorrow who knows? He just might solve world peace!

But if he doesn’t, you can bet I’ll have lots more to write about. πŸ˜‰

So thanks, Joe, for keeping it entertaining!

Your Little Pear Juice, or whatever,


Do you talk in your sleep? Does your partner?
What strange quirks do you or your partner have?


34 responses

  1. Jess, you have me laughing this morning — a great way to start a Monday. Thank you! Apparently, I talk in my sleep. My husband has never mentioned this, but I was recently staying in a large dorm-style room (think summer camp) at an orphanage in Honduras and was entertaining my bunk mates with my middle-of-the-night musings. I am not as interesting as Joe.

    1. That’s far better than snoring. Joe snores too, but that doesn’t make me laugh. Most of the time I kinda like when he talks in his sleep and I’ll try to ask him questions if I can figure out what he’s talking about first. Sometimes it’s undecipherable. LOL

  2. Thanks for my Monday morning LOL moment!

    1. Do you know if there are zombies in France, Patricia? πŸ˜‰

  3. Hubby clicks his tongue against his teeth and occasionally snores – nothing big, and no midnight chats going on. How wacky that Joe does movie quotes! That’s definitely worth a bunch of blog posts – I’d put him on notice! πŸ˜‰

    1. That’s what he gets for agreeing to marry a writer! LOL

  4. Tara moans in her sleep. REALLY loudly. The first time I heard it, I didn’t know what was going on, but now I’m used to it. I remember telling her about it. She just nodded her head and said, “Yup. Been doing it my whole life.”

    Seems like she’s having REALLY good dreams. Should I be jealous?

    1. BAHahahaha! That’s kind of awesome. I’m jealous of the clearly phenomenal sleep she is getting.

  5. Fortunately, Hubby and I keep quiet in our sleep, but it’s fun hearing about Joe. πŸ™‚

    1. Yah the talking doesn’t bother me. I encourage it when possible. But sweet Lord, the snoring! That has got to go!

      1. You should know this before you tie the knot . . . it only gets worse with weight and age. πŸ™‚

        1. And my elbows only get bonier. “The better to jab you with, my dear.”

  6. Jess,

    I hope he keeps talking in his sleep too … this indeed was great material! It’s awesome when you can actually have a conversation with a sleep talker; rare in my experience. Thanks so much for the needed chuckle today πŸ™‚

    Keep shining,

    1. I wish I could remember what he said about Aaron Rodgers awhile ago. He’s also good at sharing made up football facts. πŸ˜‰

  7. lynnkelleyauthor | Reply

    Funny stuff. I love hearing about what people say in their sleep. I talk in my sleep and sometimes laugh out loud. Sometimes when I’m dreaming I’m fighting someone or an animal, I wake up in the middle of kicking at them. Not good. My daughter walks in her sleep and tries to kill spiders and things like that in her sleep. Weird stuff. Seems to run in the family. One time when two of my daughters were teens, they went on a weekend retreat with the church youth group. They were talking to each other in their sleep, having a conversation. Others heard them and told them the next day! Crazy stuff!

    1. That’s really funny! I love that it’s a family trait. I could really use your daughter’s help killing spiders this spring.

      1. lynnkelleyauthor | Reply

        Eeek! I hate spiders. So does my daughter, but if she’s sleepwalking and dreaming about killing spiders, hey, she might as well help you out and kill real spiders! LOL

  8. My husband doesn’t, but my university roommate used to. She’d say the funniest things and never remember them when I asked her about them in the morning πŸ™‚

    1. Yah Joe doesn’t remember what he says either. But he always laughs when I tell him. Especially about the pear juice comments. ???

  9. Talking in my sleep: “Enough with the Francine Hardy. No more Francine Hardy!”

    I have no idea who Francine Hardy is.

    1. LOL. Great name though.

  10. My husband doesn’t talk in his sleep, but he does this weird lip thing like he’s sucking on a straw. I giggle every time.

    1. That’s funny and very good to keep in mind if you ever prank one another. πŸ˜‰

  11. LOL Thanks for the chuckle, Jess. I talked in my sleep as a kid but not since I grew up. But I do snore. Two recommendations from my husband. Ear plugs and a king-sized bed. (He knows better than to wake me up when I’m snoring. My yelling is much worse than my snoring!!)

    1. When Joe and I first started dating we both had twin beds. Snoring is really loud in a twin bed.

  12. So funny. I’d keep a notebook by the bed for sure!

    1. I should! I know I’ve forgotten some.

  13. karenmcfarland | Reply

    You are a very entertaining family Jess. No, I can’t say there is any talking during the sleep hours of the night at my house. All is quite. Please do report any suspicious mutterings. We could use some inspiration for world peace! πŸ™‚

    1. Ooh that’s a good title for a book! Suspicios Mutterings. LOL

  14. Little Pear Juice, You made this so fun to read. You have an easy way of making it flow that’s beautiful and effortless. πŸ™‚ It would be so great if Joe kept it up. Although, I’m curious how he feels about it. My husband is anti-family experience blogs. Boo. So limiting.

    1. LOL. See, you’re nice and you ASK him about it. My poor guy just finds it on his Facebook page the next day. πŸ˜€ I say when you date a writer…

      1. Haha. He must be a really good sport. πŸ™‚
        Why don’t you tell my husband that, see if he agrees. Oh, wait. He is a writer. He doesn’t agree. :O

  15. […] Now, Joe talks in his sleep. When that happens, he occasionally refers to me as “his little pear juice.” […]

  16. […] Joe talks in his sleep. Sometimes he calls me his “little pear juice” or starts laughing about crackers and […]

Tell me a story...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: