Top Five Things I’ve Learned About Married Life

Break out the champagne and candles! We’ve been married for one year!

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I know it’s hard to fathom. Two youngest children forced to play nice together. Most odds would have us laying tape lines around the house, each sticking to our respective sides. Or at the very least, using a conch shell to determine whose turn it is to talk.

“Sucks to your assmar!”

But we’ve managed to co-habitate with relatively little violence and debauchery.

(In case you’re wondering, the violence is from our new set of kitchen knives. Every time Joe uses them, he manages to cut himself. Either those knives are sharper than a Lady Bic throwaway razor or Joe has the skin of a flower petal.)

In contemplating our one year anniversary, it occurred to me there were many learning lessons along the way.

Top Five Things I’ve Learned About Married Life

1. Simply Being a Wife Does Not Make You More Domestic

I admire those women who are able to keep perfect households where everything matches and dinner is on the table at 6. When we first got married, we needed to buy a couch. One year later, we still need to buy a couch. And Joe does all the cooking. I am, however, an exceptional take out orderer.

2. Being a Wife Does Not Make You More Medically Intelligent 

You know how some women just know all these natural, home remedies for how to fix everything? They can cure fevers and soothe upset stomachs with nothing but a nail file and a half a lemon. (I don’t know if that’s what they actually use, I told you I’m not one of them!) My husband once suffered a sneezing fit, and I treated it like the hiccups.

“Hold still, and I’ll come out and SCARE you!”

3.  Some Decor Ideas Do Not Find Compromise

You know that scene in When Harry Met Sally where Bruno Kirby and Carrie Fisher are arguing over whether or not a wagonwheel coffee table goes in the living room or not. Well, I’m Carrie Fisher in that scenario, and it doesn’t.

4. All Those Times You Blamed Your Roommate, It Was in Fact Your Spouse

If you and your spouse ever shared living quarters with a roommate, you may have bonded over a mutual frustration with said roommate’s bad habits. Now that said roommate is gone, you may have discovered your spouse has extremely similar bad habits as your roommate once did. What are the odds? 

5. Date Night is Still a Thing

You may think by “putting a ring on it,” you’re work is over. The reverse is true. Married life requires more creativity, more compassion, and more commitment. And this is where I publicly thank Joe for creating the #Appetour date night – wherein we hop from stop to stop in town and enjoy a drink and/or appetizer, maybe some live music, and then head to the next place.

Side note* If your spouse leaves you to play on stage, they pay for the next round. It’s not technically in our vows, but now I’ve got witnesses. 

So thank you, Joe, for that last date night. It was most enjoyable.

*****

What are some lessons about love you’ve learned, whether married or not? 

Do you think we’ve earned our paper anniversary?
Maybe I’ll print this post out and put it in an envelope for Joe. ❤

And, you can relive the magic from Our Big Fat Secret Greek Wedding.
Or hear us sing “Home” from our stateside ceremony
below. Enjoy!

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24 responses

  1. Happy anniversary! Love all of your points! After 3 years of marriage my husband and I finally upgraded from futon to couch this past spring. Although I’m pretty sure that futon would still be there if the couch wasn’t given to us as a hand-me-down from my parents… lol

    1. We are currently sitting on theater chairs that match nothing else because they were free from my father in law.

  2. Love the song. 🙂

    Hubby and I have been married almost 33 years! There’s a point where you just get each other, and it all makes sense. He and my children are the best things that’s ever happened in my life. And we aren’t done living yet!!!

    1. Glad to hear some happiness from you, Lauralynn. I’m thinking of you and sending hugs and a muse your way!

  3. Happy anniversary you two crazy kids! Love that song, you guys are ridiculously talented. When’s the album coming out? Instead of She & Him you could be He & Her.

    As for lessons in love? Well, we’ve been married 15 years and I can honestly say it’s never been work. Except when it has been. We’ve had our major challenges like most couples. In my experience as long as you can laugh a lot at your mistakes and those things about your partner that irritate the hell out of you, you can last a very long time. I wish you both many many years of love and fun and beautiful songs.

    1. Not a bad idea for a band name. We currently alias as The Seven Year Engagement. But we only play in our living room. I wonder if we should get a twitter account. Do you think it would help?

      Laughter is absolutely the key! Thank goodness he lets me blog about him.

  4. Catherine Johnson | Reply

    Lovely! Happy Anniversary!

  5. Love the video! Your guests must have loved your performance.
    We’re going on 28 years. My advice? Short-term memory loss and a sense of humor.

    1. Strategic amnesia. How do I get me some?

  6. Great post! My husband and I will be reaching the five year mark this fall. My advice is that “compromise” rarely works because then you’re both dissatisfied. Instead figure out what you both really want from the current situation (rather than focusing on the external expression of that want that you’re currently disagreeing over) and figure out a way so that you can both have what really matters. I hope that makes sense 🙂

    1. That’s phenomenal advice I’ve never heard before. Thanks Marcy! And happy early anniversary!

  7. Funny!
    Keep each other first and do not give up date night!

    1. Thanks for celebrating with us!

  8. I laughed out loud at your blog, Jess. My hubby and I have been married about sixteen months. #1 and 2 particularly resonated with me. A homemaker I’m not. Very often, he does the cooking, too, if I’m embroiled in a project I can’t put down. And a home-remedy nurse? Not so much. At our age, I’ve learned to relax about the decor. Thankfully, we share the same tastes: Western and Texas/country. (Thankfully, he mounted his deer antlers in the garage.) I’m drafting a similar blog about my own newlywed musings after an event we attended, yesterday, turned into an impromptu dance. While we didn’t have “words” or end up in a fight, we did have a “discussion” when I obviously wanted to get up and dance (and wouldn’t have minded being the only couple on the floor) and he didn’t…at least not at the moment. Long story short — in the whole scheme of things, I realized that our disagreement was a mere blip. And, before the event was over, we did dance.

    1. I’m glad things worked out. Happy newlywed bliss to the both of you too!

      1. Thanks, Jess. Jeff’s a keeper. I’m definitely blessed.

  9. I guess I shouldn’t share what I’ve learned in 22 years… Except it’s about the same as what you concluded in only 1 year: “Married life requires more creativity, more compassion, and more commitment.” Yep.

    Oh, and I don’t know what your plans are, or anyone else’s who might be reading this, but it’s all true of parenting too. I didn’t suddenly go all Marion Cunningham just because someone stuck a baby in my arms. (And I just realized you may not even know who Mrs. Cunningham is. Is that reference too old? Am I that old?)

    Never mind. I’ve definitely learned that marriage and parenting requires more wine consumption. I’m jumping off and pouring a glass. 😉

    1. Did a bit of wine consumption myself this evening. Cheers to more compassion and more creativity!

  10. Bold girl! My mom tried to get me to sing at my wedding and I said NO. Too much pressure! You totally pulled it off. Happy Anniversary.

    1. What would you have sang if you had?

      1. Good question. I don’t know. I love the song you chose–so appropriate!

  11. You always make me laugh! But I have to wait to listen to the song, because my husband is asleep…and I am not. We’ve been married 17 years, been through a lot and he still makes me laugh every darn day. It sounds like that’s how it is for you two–I bet you guys have a blast together. Happy Anniversary!

    1. Does your hubby snore? Mine only bothers me when he snores and I’m trying to read. LOL

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