Tag Archives: apocalypse

Surviving the Apocalypse…With Infomercials

The Apocalypse Has Arrived…

in Piper Bayard’s new book!

Firelands

Eighty years in the future, America has devolved into a totalitarian theocracy. The ruling Josephites clone the only seeds that grow in the post-apocalyptic climate, allowing their Prophet to control who eats, who starves, and who burns in the ritual fires that atone for society.

Subsisting on the fringes, Archer risks violation and death each day as she scours the forest for game to feed her people. When a Josephite refugee seeks sanctuary in her home, Archer is driven to chance a desperate gamble—a gamble that will bring down the Prophet and deliver seeds and freedom, or end in a fiery death for herself and for everyone she loves.

Seeds are life . . . Seeds are power . . . Seeds are the only hope of a despairing people. What will Archer do for the seeds of freedom, and what will she justify in their name?

*****

If you don’t follow Piper’s blog, you’re missing out! She, and her partner in espionage, Holmes, take on current events, the lives of spies, and a fantastic series called “The End of the World is Near…(And We Deserve it Too)” – which features all those crazy YouTube videos we see that make us scratch us our heads.

In honor of her new book, Piper’s hosting an Apocalypse Challenge for readers and bloggers! YOU CAN STILL ENTER! Click the link to see her great Apocalypse Prize Package (it includes BACON!)! Winners will be announced on July 19th!

I thought I’d take a cue from my friend Piper and dream up how I’d survive the apocalypse…

ON NOTHING BUT INFOMERCIAL GOODS!!!

Muahahahahaha

How to Survive the Apocalypse With Infomercial Goods:

1. First things first. Food preservation.

In Firelands, it’s all about being able to eat. So I hope I face the Apocalypse with Gyro Bowl!

Whew! Now I don’t have to worry about spilling any of my snacks, and I can keep my food fresh! When I’m done eating, I can store things in my Gyro Bowl too…like bullets!

2. Cardio.

Haven’t you seen Zombieland? It’s always about the cardio! You’re going to need a Shake Weight. Get that heart rate pumping some red gold!

Just shake it!

3. Find a friend!

There’s safety in numbers. And who wants to travel alone anyway? I hope I get to hike through an apocalyptic no man’s land with Perfect Polly.

There are so many advantages to Perfect Polly, I don’t know where to begin!

4. Get some zzz’s.

You may need to sleep where you can find it. That could mean camping. *shudder* Wherever I have to lay down, I’m bringing my Chillow!

It’s going to be so nice to have when the Godfire reigns down.

5. Be prepared.

When facing the apocalypse, you have to be ready for anything. I can’t think of a better multi-purpose tool than a Sham Wow Towel.

My boyfriend thought these were so cool, he gave them to me as an anniversary gift. #TrueStory

Then I made him buy me a new anniversary gift.  😀

That’s how I’d take on the apocalypse!

What would you want to pack with you?

And be sure to get a copy of Piper’s new book, Firelands!

The Walking Dead: Best Commercial Free Zombie TV

Sunday night was the series premiere of Season 2 The Walking Dead.  A small group of campy citizens has survived Season 1, and is fleeing the area under attack from the zombie apocalypse.  With Emmy Award winning prosthetic make-up, Walking Dead made no disappointments in its premiere.  *spoiler alert*

The episode opened with the group on the move.  Almost instantly there is conflict.  The roadway is bogged down with abandoned vehicles and dead bodies inside.  With the quick decision to scavenge for supplies, everybody files out of their cars and begins searching the road on foot.  Enter zombie mob.

Interestingly enough, the show never refers to the undead as ‘zombies,’ but rather “walkers.”  Minutes onscreen can equate to hours of make-up application for the actors playing the walkers.  Our travelers know a few rules that apply to the undead:

  • No loud noises.  Conserve your bullets, they can attract more walkers.
  • The smellier the better.  Masking your ‘live’ odor with eau de zombie helps protect you should a mass of undead come stumbling after you.
  • Don’t get bitten.

I'm ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille.

The heroic leader of the ragtag gang is Rick Grimes (played by Andrew Lincoln), a Sheriff in normal world, who woke up in the hospital in Season 1 and fought his way to his family and the few other survivors.  One intriguing dynamic is Rick’s relationship with Shane (played by Jon Bernthal), his old partner and another natural leader in the group.  What Rick doesn’t know is that Shane had an affair with Rick’s wife while they thought he was dead (back in Season 1 – Who knew a zombie show could be so melodramatic?!)

So, we have an army of zombies headed straight for our survivor renegades, and their response to such oncoming doom…hide underneath the cars.  Minutes slowly tic by without commercial interception as you see foot after bony, rotting flesh foot pass them.  In fact, I think you can smell their flesh while you’re waiting.

Once they think the coast is clear, they start to crawl out from under the vehicles, but a child is noticed by the walkers and flees into the woods to escape.  Rick runs after and diverts their attention from the child, saving her, and yet losing her at the same time.  So that creates problem number one.

Problem number two is that the group is starting to lose morale.  Especially Andrea (played by Laurie Holden).  She was caught up in the zombie apocalypse while on a road trip with her younger sister Amy, who didn’t survive season 1.  Andrea already tried to kill herself once, but was saved by Dale (played by Jeffrey Demunn), however she as of yet feels no gratitude for that kindness.

And problem number three is that Shane isn’t handling Rick’s reunion with his wife very well.  His plan is now to slip quietly away from the group and face the odds on his own.  Can he abandon his longtime friend, Rick, and leave things unspoken with Lori, Rick’s wife?

I won’t give away the final cliffhanger of the season premiere, but trust me, it was a “C’mon!  You’re seriously ending it here!” kind of moment.  We do know from the season 2 buzz that the group makes contact with more survivors on an abandoned farmhouse, but we have no idea what kind of dynamic these new people will bring.

Sunday’s premiere of Walking Dead also kicked off AMC’s Fear Fest this Halloween season!  Sixteen days of your favorite Halloween movies!  I know I’m pumped!  See the listing of films by clicking the link above.  Much to my surprise, I got a voicemail message from my local video store reminding me I hadn’t been in for awhile and offering me a free rental plus 14 days of 1/2 price movies.  SC”ORE!  Another opportunity for me to stock up on my favorite thrillers and gory flicks.  I’ve already watched such classics as Carrie and The Shining this past week.  And if you’re into the FREE route, you better tune in to AMC’s Fear Fest or visit your local library, which I’ve done and reserved many more spooky films.

For more zombie goodness, check out Sonia Medeiros’ zombielicious post The Zombies are Coming!  Did I mention her post is about zombies?!  Go check it out, there’s games and links and a vote for your favorite and least favorite zombie flick.  She thinks of everything!

Your turn!  Did you tune in for The Walking Dead premiere?  What did you think?  Were you totally on edge or what?  Do you enjoy the zombie craze we’re seeing in the media (even Jane Austen has gone all Zombie Slayer)?  What is your favorite Zombie movie?  Tell me, and then vote on Sonia’s blog! 

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