And There’s a Side Pocket for Snacks!
Some of you may know that I work in a reproductive health clinic. A large part of my job involves volunteer coordination, some marketing and outreach, working closely with our board of directors, and managing our social media. (I post cool stuff, you guys, check us out on Facebook and Twitter!) Additionally, I can be found handing out condoms on campuses and in area bars, hosting the occasional evening of Sex Trivia, and shouting things like “No Karolee, I DON’T know where your balls are!”
(Relax, it was just the fake set of testicles we have for educational purposes.)
Sometimes when I’m searching for interesting things to post online, my coworkers send me ideas. One such idea happened upon my email, and while it wasn’t quite right to share on our clinic page, I knew two ladies who HAD to see it.
August McLaughlin is an author, blogger, and founder of GirlBoner radio and a huge proponent of women’s sexual health and empowerment. Jenny Hansen works as a freelance writer, technical trainer, and blogger with a reoccurring little series called The Undie Chronicles. These were clearly the women who would appreciate the following tweet I sent.
https://twitter.com/jesswitkins/status/560971120502120452What I sent them was the link to this product…
You guys, for just $35 you can have your very own condom sleeping bag!!
Turns out, I was right. August and Jenny did appreciate my tweet.
Or for storing actual condoms, but I would use it for snacks!
The product includes a pillow and zip compartment for storing the actual sleeping bag, which can be rolled up just like a condom.
August and Jenny and I were making plans for our virtual sleepover that included birth control themed brownies and trivia.
Do you know it? I stumped these gals, though their guesses were admirable.
The correct answer is Little Richard’s “Tutti Fruiti.” The original lyrics read “Tutti fruiti, get booty.”
What do you think? Do you find the condom sleeping bag as amusing as we do?
Will you be joining us at the sleepover? It’s BYOS, bring your own snacks. 😉
The Stocking Stuffer You Won’t Want to Miss (IYKWIM)
Hey Dudes and Dudettes!
First off, a big and gracious THANK YOU to everyone who popped over to my guest blog on The Indie Chicks! You sure made this girl feel awesome with all the views, comments, and shares. Thank you very much for your cheerleading and support! You made my week. And if you missed it, don’t worry, you can still check it out here!
Today I’m playing hooky from my blog – again – because I couldn’t turn down an opportunity to guest post at my dear friend, Jenny Hansen’s place. After all, she’s the Queen of More Cowbell!
Jenny has a series called The Undie Chronicles, which encompasses a lot of everything you never knew you wanted to know about people’s skivvies. 😉
When I came upon a certain product while doing research at work (and I work in a family planning clinic – so it’s not as weird as you think), I had to talk about it. Jenny offered to host that conversation!
So please stop by and chat with us on The Stocking Stuffer You Won’t Want to Miss.
*****
~ TEASER ~
Scroguard is shipped discreetly to your home and stored in a package that is easy to slip into one’s pocket. Or, if you’d prefer, Scroguard can be worn for several hours prior to sexy time so you can avoid “awkward interruptions” between you and your lover. Won’t she (or he) be surprised when you unbutton your pants and show off your massive…protection?
*****
C’mon…you know you want to read more. 😉
Dinosaur Erotica? All in the Name of Research
There’s been a surge out there of Facebook and blog posts with the theme “You Know You’re a Writer if…” It’s considered perfectly normal for thriller writers to have a google search history containing things like: household items used in explosives, where to buy crack in Shipshewana, Indiana, and letters from death row inmates.
I, however, am not a thriller writer. I write humorous nonfiction. So what I do for research?
I read dino porn.
Let me explain.
Do you all follow Jenny Hansen? Because yes, I’m blaming her for this post. Jenny has a FABULOUS blog called More Cowbell, and one of her reoccurring blog series is about crazy book titles. Behold…Crazy Books, Part 9: Dinosaur Erotica.

image from Jezebel.com
*stands bashfully in the corner*
I don’t know if you guys knew this about me, but um…I love dinosaurs.
So after reading Jenny’s post, I thought I’d read one of these dino-porno-saurus texts. Ok.
I went with a classic. Taken by the T-Rex. And it’s only 19 pages!
Here is what I learned:
- I do not, in fact, love dinosaurs.
- I believe I like them an average amount. Meaning, I dig them in Spielberg films.
- I am going to have nightmares from reading this book.
- P.S. There was no plot. NO PLOT!
Let me tell you a little about the authors. Yep, plural. Because it takes two…to write less than 20 pages with no plot in something they define as the “monster sex” genre.
Meet Christie Sims!
Hi! I’m just a plain old, everyday Midwestern girl that lives a normal life. However, while my outward tastes are relatively simple, my inner thoughts are filled with lusty thoughts of big, strong, powerful monsters having their way with beautiful maidens.
Midwestern girl? I’m pretty freakin sure this isn’t a photo shot from Lake Michigan!
Meet Alara Branwen!
Alara Branwen is your typical college student by day, but by night she is a crafter of sexy, hot, sensuous, “monster” fantasy erotic fiction. All of her stories are based on her own desires, or from personal experiences.
The co-author is a dragon?! That’s why the book is co-written. Alara must be the cultural liaison for reptilian hard ons!
If you’re interested in learning more about this raptor-ous book series, (because there are many, many more), you can go on Amazon and look them up.
As for me? One and done!
I’m off to have nightmares now! Ta ta!
What do you think? I have to know!
What is Love? A Guest Post by Jenny Hansen
Welcome to Life List Friday here at Jess’ Happiness Project. She’s hanging out over at David Walker’s place while we chat it up here.
Every commercial I’ve seen today is about romance. It’s almost Valentine’s Day and love is in the air. And on TV…in magazines…and spreading like wildfire across the internet.
The yearning for love and connection seems to be built into our DNA. And humans, particularly those in the Western world, place an incredible amount of focus on the subject.
We dream of love. We write songs and novels about it. We chase love. We build shrines to it. We sacrifice for love, work for love, and cry about love, in all its various embodiments.
It’s stunning to see such a wealth of attention paid to a topic with very few clear answers. Is it just me, or have you noticed how difficult love is to define?
- There’s love between friends
- The deep connection between parent and child
- The close community of family
- Romantic love typically seen during dating
- The deeply shared life-bond of romance and friendship in long-term couples.
Certainly, there’s more but these are the first five that came to my mind. Here’s how Psychology Today answers the question.
What is love?
Three different people will give you three different answers. Heck, I might give different answers on different days. As a psychology major at the University of Missouri, I participated in an experiment where we walked around campus, asking this question.
Here are the five answers to “What is love” that I never forgot:
- Love is finding joy in the other person’s happiness.
- Love is wanting what’s best for one another, even when it’s not what’s best for you.
- Love is not being able to imagine your life without that person in it.
- Love is a completeness of being. Where the other person not only fits with you, but becomes a part of you.
- Love makes you braver than you ever knew you could be.
Complete strangers gave me food for thought that affected me for the rest of my adult life. So, now I’m asking you: “What is love?”
I can’t wait to hear your answers down in the comments section!
Jenny fills her nights with humor: writing memoir, women’s fiction, chick lit, short stories (and chasing after the newly walking Baby Girl). By day, she provides training and social media marketing for an accounting firm. After 15 years as a corporate software trainer, she’s digging this sit down and write thing.
When she’s not at her blog, More Cowbell, Jenny can be found on Twitter at jhansenwrites and at her group blog, Writers In The Storm. Every Saturday, she writes the Risky Baby Business posts at More Cowbell, a series that focuses on babies, new parents and high-risk pregnancy.
Guilty Good Reading: A Mash-up of Awesome
Happy late Thanksgiving everyone! Getting my post up a bit later today since I just finished working a 12 1/2 hour day in retail. *phew* Guilty Pleasure Friday will be back again in two weeks, but for now, I leave you with my favorite reads from the prior week!
On Writing:
Alica McKenna Johnson guest blogged at Myndi Shafer’s with great writing advice about how to add more diversity to your writing. She’s honest and open about the tips she uses to write characters from different countries and ethnicities. Check out her guest post Don’t Bleach and Iron Your Work.
On Reading:
Jillian, a literary student who blogs at A Room of One’s Own, informed me of The 2012 To Be Read Pile Challenge! For all you bookworms with that evergrowing list of books to get to, take this challenge along with me and see yourself accomplish some great books you’ve never given yourself the time to get through. The only real catch is they need to be at least a year old in publication. I’ll be posting my list and hope you’ll share your own!
Thanksgiving is still in season and August McLaughlin shared the Books I’m Crazy Grateful For and sparked a fun conversation in her comments. Share your own books that shaped your life and made you grateful you’d read them!
Tim L. O’Brien posted an awesome blog about Why Books are Important. This is part three in his series and focuses on getting kids to read. He’s got smart advice and an awesome link to a site where you can check out the perfect titles for your kid of any age to read and have them glued to the page rather than to the screen.
On Women:
If you don’t regularly follow the Life List Club blog hop every other friday, you missed an inspiring post by fellow co-founder, Marcia Richards all about long distance swimmer Diana Nyad. She’s a courageous woman who will inspire us all to do our own Xtreme Dream challenges. So after you’ve read Marcia’s post, check out Diana’s own blog about her recovery process from her attempted swim from Cuba to the Florida Keys after being attacked by box jellyfish.
What’s in a Name…:
If you haven’t been following Nina Badzin’s baby naming debacles, you’ve been missing out. She recaps the long nine month journey and also reveals her newest addition’s long awaited, and well thought out, name in Finally, His Name.
Because Humor is Necessary During the Holidays:
I love Sara Grambusch’s blog. She’s got the spunky and self-deprecating humor that I adore in a person, and she also provides delicious healthy recipes. In this post, Household Things I Do Wrong, she recounts the number of times she’s unsuccessfully mastered the art of housework. Let’s all pray she and I never become roommates; angels will weep for society.
The Good Greatsby will have you stitches with his headlines: Starbucks Announces: Come for Joe not John. Must read for coffee drinkers and users of public bathrooms everywhere!
Jenny Hansen serves up More Cowbell when she asks Is Adulthood Stealing Some of Your “Grooviness?” Dance parties are a known reaction to Jenny’s posts; you’ve been warned.
Charles Gulotta relives his edible memoirs in his entertaining tale toward intelligence; he calls it Chew on This.
Enjoy your weekend! See you all again Monday!
Going for the Great
Hello my ghoulies! We interrupt your normal spookifying blog posts for another blog hop edition of the Life List Club! Join in the camaraderie of new and old friends helping each other progress towards our goals. Today I’m talking about zombies over at Sonia Medeiros’ blog and joining me today is the sassy and fashion savvy (she has leopard print pants!!), Jenny Hansen from More Cowbell. Please welcome Jenny to the stage!
Going For The “Great”
NaNoWriMo is less than two weeks away and writers are flexing their fingers and cracking their knuckles in anticipation. NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month and it’s when hundreds of thousands of writers around the world swarm to the website, chat rooms and local write-ins to try to bang out fifty thousand words in a month.
That’s 1,667 words per day, or just under seven pages, for all of those who haven’t done the math on this. That’s a big commitment, but it can be done. The goal – at least it’s my goal – is to do it smart.
Like most writers, I don’t just want to end up with words on a page. I want to end with a framework of good words that I can (hopefully) fashion into something great when the dust has settled in December.
I came across a quote at work that I used in a motivational seminar that applies to us crazy writer types:
“Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.” ~ Kenny Rogers
Note: Those of you over here at Jess’ place might not have visited me at my blog (More Cowbell) yet, so you won’t know that I’m a software trainer (aka “Training Goddess”) by day for an accounting firm. It’s my job to get those accountants out of their comfort zone and enjoy the process while they’re at it.
There’s countless ways to motivate people, but a sure way to fire up my accountants is to appeal to their sense of competition. This can be competition with themselves or with someone they admire. Accountants, as a rule, are highly motivated to be the best – each of them strives to have the best research skills, deepest knowledge, etc. Sound familiar?
Here’s five points I presented this last week in a seminar called, “Are You A High-Value Employee?” Below, I’ve adapted these 5 key areas to writers since we are the boss and employee all rolled into one.
Key areas of high value to which all WRITERS should aspire:
1. Relationships: The ability to connect and interact with co-workers fellow writers, clients publishing professionals, and the community readers.
You and I are building a relationship right now. I post thoughts, you read them, then we discuss (because hopefully y’all will cavort in the comments section). If we enjoy the process we do it again, either here at Jess’ blog or over at More Cowbell. Perhaps you’ll come find me on Twitter (@jhansenwrites). Maybe I’ll come find you.
Relationships will build naturally if you’re open to them. I’ve got writing friends who’ve been on Twitter since January (because I forced them to join a week after I did) and have yet to send a single tweet or monitor a single hashtag. They’re not involved in ROW80 or The Life List Club. They’re not doing what Jess did when she founded Life List Club with Marcia Richards to support other writers: they’re not forming relationships.
As much as we all love to play with words, writing can be a cold, hard endeavor when it’s not going well. Relationships with supportive friends can help brighten up the process and keep you from getting stalled. Building relationships is essential to a writer’s success.
2. Analysis: The ability to extract the key critical factors of a specific situation.
While accountants get all zippy and hopped up on the word “analysis,” most writers experience an odd yearning to scratch out their eyes or iron their underwear each time they hear it bandied about. Analysis, to most creative people, means numbers and spreadsheets and pain.
Here’s what analysis really means:
a·nal·y·sis/əˈnaləsis/
Noun: Detailed examination of the elements or structure of something, typically as a basis for discussion or interpretation.
The process of separating something into its constituent elements.
In writer-speak it means “good Craft” and deep edits. We spend a lot of time learning 3-Act structure or creative use of Setting in the hopes that it will seep inside and flow through our fingertips to the page. Those are good goals.
To be a “great” writer, we must be able to revise. If you’re like me, you might be thinking things like, “I don’t wanna!” or “I’ll just ‘know’ what belongs there when I see it.” That kind of whining will let you be a good writer, but probably not a great one.
We must know why we’re adding or taking away from a scene, which means we have to analyze our scenes for what they’re missing (and learn as much as you can about Craft).
3. Innovation: The ability to design solutions to effectively solve problems.
Writers are incredible innovators. We build people and worlds and invent entire stories. Are we bringing our full innovative powers to bear when we do this? Spending the time and energy to move beyond the nice and easy, to the far-flung limits of our imaginations?
I’ll confess, some days I’m lazy and I just don’t feel like stretching my “what-if muscle.” On those days, my writing is usually OK at best. It’s definitely not within a mile of great. I kick myself later and wonder why I didn’t take a walk, or a run through Twitter or slug down some coffee. All those things give me a boost. Finding out what gives you a boost will help you bring your Innovator to the page.
4. Knowledge: Depth and breadth of understanding and applying bodies of information.
This is where the ever-present research comes in. Some writers love it, and some don’t. All of us are going to be doing it sooner or later and it seems everyone’s got a different way to go about it.
For some, research is an in-depth journey; still others research by watching reality TV. You need to find out what works best for you, but your end-goal is to know your subject well enough that you can describe it in just a few words.
5. Experience: The ability to function competently and confidently at appropriate level, having performed in numerous situations and demonstrated task or job fluency.
The same as in your day job, “writing experience” is directly related to writing practice. The more we write and the more books we complete, the greater our confidence and level of skill.
I’ll never figure out why it’s OK to learn job skills slowly, but the same speed for a writer is cause for angst. Perhaps it’s because the writing means more to us than our day jobs. Most writers will tell you they started to hit their stride about the time they finish their third manuscript.
I know some of you are shuddering right now, thinking of all that “wasted time.” I have a question for you perfectionists: Why is it acceptable for multiple attempts when learning to ride a bike, or dance the tango, or knit but it’s an “epic fail” to write a few books before you get good at it?
Lots of first novels remain unpublished for a reason. They were practice for the other books. It takes years to learn the piano, and hours of practice. Maybe you could cut yourself some slack the next time you sit down at the writing page. Enjoy the journey; have some fun. You’re gaining on-the-job experience.
The beauty of being a writer is that we don’t really have to get it right the first time. We just have to try our very best. Eventually, our best becomes GREAT.
What do you think makes for great writing? What online tool do you like best for networking and building relationships with others? Do you participate in goal-based groups like ROW80, The Life List Club or NaNoWriMo?
Thanks for visiting with us on this Life List Friday! Have a great weekend.
-Jenny
Jenny fills her nights with humor: writing memoir, women’s fiction, chick lit, short stories (and chasing after the newly walking Baby Girl). By day, she provides training and social media marketing for an accounting firm. After 15 years as a corporate software trainer, she’s digging this sit down and write thing. When she’s not at her blog, More Cowbell, Jenny can be found on Twitter at jhansenwrites and at her group blog, Writers In The Storm.