A few nights ago I had the craziest wedding dream yet!

You already know about my weird dream where I was on the road to interrogate a killer, but stopped to crash someone’s wedding reception just to take notes on what I liked and disliked about it. Note* I do NOT like Skittles as party favors.

But this last dream was far more outlandish!

First off, my dress started out as my real wedding gown, but somewhere in the dream it morphed into a gaudy black sequin and lace ensemble with layers of petticoats underneath and puff sleeves!

I came out to greet everyone and ran into my friend, Cat.

“How’s my hair look?” I asked.

She wouldn’t answer me. She just kept prattling on about other things! I begged her to go to the restroom with me so I could see my hair in the mirror. It had been styled by a team of professionals and I badly wanted to see how it turned out.

When we finally got to the bathroom, Cat tried to block me from the mirror. I managed to step around her and catch my reflection.

The top of my head was a beehive of curls, mounded in a great glump. The back of my hair was a mohawk, gelled straight out to a point!

That’s not even the worst part.

The bridal headpiece that was sewn into my hair can only be described as a large purple hula-hoop that was covered, and I mean COVERED, in women’s underpants!

I didn’t know what to do. Where does one even begin to fix a headdress that dangles lady knickers?

I went in search of my family.

When I got to the reception hall, guests were milling about restlessly. A few were seated at tables with odd chairs and stained linens. The staff on hand were way behind cleaning up from a prior event, so nothing was ready for us! There were hardly any chairs for people to sit on, and there was nothing for them to eat or drink but a few water glasses one staff member was lazily dropping ice cubes into, one by one, with a tongs.

Someone had asked our entertainment for the night to start performing, so the side room was filled with Asian dancers moving melodically. But no one was watching them. Because there were no chairs to sit on, guests assumed they were not supposed to be in that room yet. Only a few people who stood in the doorway witnessed any of the dancers we invited.

I started looking for my family again and saw my father, who was carrying in the wedding cake. He was dressed in a Bill Cosby-esque sweater! For his daughter’s wedding?!

Apparently that was the last straw as I woke up right after that, but WOW! I mean, what a circus!

I sat up in bed, stupefied. I turned, looking at Joe, “I had a nightmare.”

Here’s hoping our wedding will include less crazy hair and more of this…

What about you? Had any weird dreams lately?