Tag Archives: movies

30 Questions Before 30

I turn 30 next month.

I’ve moved on from childish behavior like eating Cheetos for dinner. Now, I am a sophisticated adult who eats Cheetos for dinner…with a glass of wine. And with better clothes, because I shop at Stitch Fix.

Afro Hair 4

Thanks for the “fashion advice,” Mom.  NOT.  

I’ve surpassed the emotional roller coaster that this new decade has been inducing. I’ve let go of “do this by the time I’m 30” deadlines. And now, I’m looking forward to it. I think 30 is going to be a great year.

I still feel the need to document my life thus far though. A lot of change and growth, and loss and love, has happened in my 20’s and I want to acknowledge it. I’d been thinking of doing some kind of 30 facts before 30 post, when lo and behold, blogger pal, Liz from Be. Love. Live shared her own 31 Questions theme. And since she invited others to join in, I’m doing just that.

Here’s 30 Questions Answered Before I Turn 30.
  1. Where’s your cellphone? If not in my hand, then it’s right next to me. I have a problem.
  2. Where’s your second half? After making us a scrumptious breakfast this morning, he is out for a run, letting me work in peace.
  3. Your hair? Is messy. I let it air dry. But the color is my natural red.
  4. Your mood? Excited. It’s going to be a good day.
  5. Your plan for today? To catch up on writing assignments and then go hiking with my bae. 
    Out for a Stroll
  6. What’s the best you know? Best I know of what? I know I like red ales and Leinenkugel’s Red is a great one. I think David Sedaris’ essay Six to Eight Black Men is the funniest thing I’ve ever read. I think sharing that story about that time I pooped my pants has made more people come forward and share their own shitastrophies, and that makes me like each of them a bit more.
  7. Your dream last night? I didn’t dream last night, or if I did, I don’t remember it. But last weekend after Joe and I binged watched Season Five of The Walking Dead, I dreamed that I was out scavenging for food and shelter all night long. I was exhausted the next morning.
  8. Your goal in life? To publish my book, and to make people laugh.
  9. The room you’re in? The kitchen, at the table by the window. The most common space I write in, and where Joe often catches me.
    Writing
  10. Your hobby? Blogging, reading, hanging out in coffee shops, doing improv, talking in weird voices, shocking my mother…

    worlds largest latteHobbying like a boss. 

  11. Your fear? Bugs.
  12. Where would you like to be in six years? Celebrating the six year anniversary of you asking me that question. 😉
  13. Where were you yesterday evening? At home with the hubs, watching The Grand Budapest Hotel.
  14. What are you not? I am not coordinated. Please don’t throw balls at me.
  15. Something you wish? I wish I had some chocolate. Like now.
  16. Where did you grow up? In a small town in southeast Wisconsin.
  17. What was the last thing you did? Watch Hannah Hart’s My Drunk Kitchen: Toad in a Hole. This girl makes me giggle.
  18. Your clothes? I’m rocking my Dolly Parton tshirt.
    Dolly Parton tee
  19. Your TV? Is a host to many epic marathons such as #Keanuthon.
  20. Your computer? Is a multi-holiday gift from my husband after my old one died. It’s a MacBook Air, and I still don’t really know how to use it. For the love of God, why can’t I just double click on things??!
  21. The best thing you own? My journals. Those notebooks hold my soul.
  22. Do you miss anyone? I miss my family. I miss the members that passed on too early. I miss friends that are kindred spirits despite living across the country.
  23. Your car? Is a 2004 Nissan Sentra, and her name is Dionne.
  24. Something you’re not wearing? Socks.
  25. Favorite store? It is quickly becoming Etsy. And does Stitch Fix count? It is a store, but you don’t go to it, it comes to you.

    Where my book nerds at? Etsy is the greatest for gifts.Where my book nerds at? 

  26. Your summer? The highlight was our annual summer vacation and road trip to Tennessee where we ate copious amounts of barbecue, listened to lots of live music, and visited with friends and family. Additional highs include storytelling at the Old School Variety Show, co-hosting part of the Film Freaks series with the library, and joining an improv troupe.
  27. Do you love anyone? Yah, there’s this boy I like.

    It’s the one on the left. 

  28. Favorite color? Green and turquoise.
  29. When did you last laugh? I laughed watching that Hannah Hart video. Did you watch it? Go watch it. She’s so silly.
  30. When did you last cry? I cried watching The Walking Dead because some of my favorite characters were killed off. I won’t say who, but it’s sad.

Feel free to copy these questions and share your own responses.
Thanks for tuning in! 

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BTW

It’s mid-month of #Keanuthon and this week’s classic is Speed. One bus. One bomb. One Keanu to save the day!

Co-starring Sandra Bullock, Dennis Hopper, and Jeff Daniels, Keanu plays a cop that has to rescue a group of strangers trapped on a bus that can’t go less than 50 mph. If you already feel like one epic joy ride isn’t enough, rest assured, there’s a Speed 2: Cruise Control – which takes place on a boat. Unfortunately, Keanu isn’t in that one.

We’ll be live tweeting the movie once again on Wednesday, September 16th at 8:00pm CST. Join me and friends or follow along using #Keanuthon.

Get ready for rush hour! 

Also this happened last night. What. Are. The. Odds? 

Jess Witkins Meets Keanu Reeves

Now, even KEANU knows about #Keanuthon. 

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Sh*t My Husband Says While Sleeping, Vol. 3

He’s baaaaaack!

Maybe it was the onset of school starting (him being a teacher and all). Maybe it’s the change of the seasons. Whatever the reason, my hubby has started talking in his sleep again.

If you’re new here, this is my husband.

Joe readingHis name is Joe. 
He’s a fan of hot sauce, guitar solos, and
beard oil for facial hair maintenance.

Occasionally, Joe talks in his sleep. Sometimes he calls me his “little pear juice” or starts laughing about crackers and email.

And then there are times, when he’s fast asleep, and he says shit like this: 

Joe: It’s hot.

Me: Are you too hot?

Joe: It’s time to install the hot tub.

Me: Hot tub?

Joe: Where should we put it?

Me: What???

Joe: Don’t you think we need one? To store all this hot water?

Me: …

I don’t… Yah, we’re not getting a hot tub. We’ve never discussed getting a hot tub, and if we ever DO get a hot tub, I am confident that Joe would not install it himself.

Where do YOU keep your hot water? 

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P.S. We’re coming up on week 2 of #Keanuthon. Thanks to all who watched Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure with us! We found out it was his birthday on the 2nd, so what a great day to kick off the party!

#Keanuthon

Here is one of my favorite tweets from the event, which came from my movie-clueless friend, Heather. This was a legitimate question she asked before coming over. Oh, Lawd.

This week we’re watching Point Break, the one where Keanu plays an FBI agent who goes undercover to catch a bunch of bank robbers that might be surfers. Costars include Patrick Swayze (with what is possibly the most epic of surfer hair imaginable), Gary Busey as his FBI partner, and John C. McGinley (who you may know as Dr. Perry Cox from Scrubs).

The preview promises 100% pure adrenaline!!

Watch along with us at 8pm CST this wednesday and live tweet the movie using #Keanuthon. Hope to see you there!

Enjoy your week, everyone!

ICYMI: Where I’ve Been Laughing While I Was Away

Hello Cats and Kittens,

How is everyone’s week going?

I’m keeping very busy as usual. Last week I kicked off my debut with a local performance group called Old School Variety Show as a storyteller. I shared two excerpts from my work in progress, Oops Baby. It was quite fun. Here’s a little teaser from my chapter entitled Have No Fear, Dad is Here. 

This past weekend I traveled home to hang out with my sister, but fear not, I was still in the blogosphere. Here are a few of my favorite funny tales ICYMI.

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Alice Whitmore, of Lutheran Liar Looks at Life, dishes all in her date with Steve Martin, The Jerk and The Dude. True story!

Andrea Culletto battles elephant rides and kid debaters (I’m not saying their coach was their dad, but it might have been their dad) in The Elephant in the Room.

Naughty PickleSummer Heacock of Fizzygrrl shares a humorous, gif-filled retelling of her encounters with hyper-religion. This recovering Catholic girl laughed her butt off at this post, but a caution to readers, it’s not for the fundamental of faith. Enjoy Are You There God? It’s Me Fizzy.

Brick House Chick had me screaming with her dietary rant, Cut the Carbs, They Say. We all know it’s not that easy, and this fiery chica was just saying so.

It might sound like a headline out of The Onion, but it’s a true tale over at Jenny Hansen’s blog More Cowbell. Check out her latest post, Hubby’s Jewels Threatened By Doctor With Tuna.

I can only guess that all authors aspire for this kind of acclaim, but The Bloggess is now #4 on Amazon if you search for “giant dildos”. Well That’s…Huh.

The hilarious woman behind Don’t Pet Me, I’m Writing is sharing her response to How Do I Write Humor? (And Other Questions I Suck at Answering).

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And don’t forget, #Keanuthon starts tomorrow! Grab a copy of Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Dudes, cause we’re starting at 8:00 pm sharp! I can’t wait to live tweet the movie with you! 

#Keanuthon

What’s made you laugh lately? 

Prepare Yourselves, #Keanuthon is Coming

The Husband and I have been planning to have a movie marathon for months now. A themed marathon. A celebrity-themed marathon.

A Keanuthon. 

We all have our celebrity crushes and idols. My husband’s is Keanu Reeves.

And Jane Fonda. But we’ll host her party later.

So, we’ve decided to host a #Keanuthon. A Keanu Reeves themed movie marathon for the month of September!

BEHOLD…

#Keanuthon

Here’s the scoop. 

Starting September 2nd, we’ll watch one Keanu Reeves movie every wednesday. And we’re going to live tweet the movie using the hashtag #Keanuthon. Find me on Twitter @jesswitkins and let’s talk all things Reeves-related.

Feel free to dive in the fun using whatever your favorite social media hangout is, just use #Keanuthon so we can find you.

At the end of the month, I’ll share a wrap up post featuring the funniest and best tweets and photos from #Keanuthon.

So tell all your friends! Head to the movie rental store (AKA: Netflix), and get ready for #Keanuthon!!!

It’s all starting with Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

Spread the word! #Keanuthon starts in one week! 

Hoodoo Halloween Party: What’s the Scariest Movie You’ve Ever Seen?

Hoodoo PartyThe fabulous Kirsten Weiss of ParaYourNormal is hosting a Hoodoo Halloween blog hop this weekend and you can join in!

Visit here to meet writers all over the country share their creepiest ghost stories and spookiest Halloween tales. We’re blogging about New Orleans history and ghost lore and Halloween!

I recently sat at a table where everyone was talking about the first movie that ever scared the crap out of them. And the answers were abundant.

There was Child’s Play, the Chucky movie, which scared one woman’s mother so much she turned all the dolls in her home to face backward.

*That would actually scare me MORE.

Psycho, the original Hitchcock version, made one woman terrified she’d be stabbed to death whenever she showered.

IT, that creepy clown movie/miniseries, was one we all nodded our head to. We were scared of clowns, public bathrooms, sink drains, sewer systems, you name it!

Then there’s my list. It’s a long one. Because I’m a chicken sh*t when it comes to scary movies.

When I was growing up, here are the things that scared me about…

Exhibit A: sausage fingers

E.T.Yah, not even a scary movie, but his fingers looked like sausages and they creeped me out and I was convinced he lived in our basement so I would only go down there if someone else was down there.

P.S. This movie is also frightening in Spanish. We watched it in my high school Spanish class and I had bad dreams with E.T. yelling “E.T. telefono a mi casa!!!” in them. It’s just scarier for some reason.

Scream (1, 2, & 3) – While this series is not very scary now, it was in middle school. And creepers wearing masks was all the rage. Not cool, bro. Not cool at all.

Sixth SenseWhat a mind f*ck this movie was. Creepiest scene? I think it’s when the little boy is sitting in his tent and all the walls start shaking and he’s looking up, then when he looks forward again – there’s a dead girl in front of him, and she pukes!

The Ring This movie came out when I was in high school. It’s about a dead girl who kills people by crawling out of their television sets and their bodies are found all mutilated and twisted. Now, I had a TV in my bedroom at this time. So I behaved in a normal fashion and slept with it on for a week straight because I was more terrified of waking up in the middle of the night and hearing the click of the dial on my TV and see the dead girl coming after me.

P.P.S. My TV was SO OLD. It actually did have dials. Two of them. And I could only get two channels to come in, so I watched a lot of Antiques Roadshow and Ricki Lake talk shows.

Joy Ride What? No! The fact that Paul Walker is coming to save me does not make this better? Don’t feckin mess with late night truck drivers, ok?!

HalloweenWho would agree to ever babysit again after this???

The ExorcistUm, that scene where the girl crab walks all crazy down the stairs. Niiiiiiiiiiiiiightmares!

Village of the DamnedWell hello angelic looking blonde child, please don’t kill me.

The Texas Chainsaw MassacreNO! No I will not go out to your grandpa’s cabin in the country! Just NO!

I Am LegendCircles of heaving zombies lurking in the dark? Nope. I’ma karate chop all the doors down in my house first.

The Exorcism of Emily RoseWell that’s just great. I’m now terrified whenever I wake up in the vicinity of 3:33 am.

Paranormal ActivityHell, even the previews for this were horrifying! I believe too much in ghosts and this movie made me think every house I ever lived in was haunted.

Evil DeadWaaaay too much self inflicted torture in this one for me. If anyone needs me I’ll be curled up in a fetal position, clutching my teddy bear for the next several hours.

 I could go on, but I think the ghosts are listening.
I need to go hide under the covers now.

What’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?

 

 

 

Was The Host Worth Watching?

In getting over a cold this week, I spent my weekend pretty low-key. I rested and caught up on some movies that came in for me at the library. *Score!*

One of the titles I watched was The Host.

Based on the Stephenie Meyer (author of the Twilight series) novel of the same title, The Host is the story of a futuristic world where aliens of some sort – read sparkly balls of electricity – have traveled the galaxy overtaking one planet after the other by surviving in host bodies. Melanie Stryder, played by The Lovely Bones’s Saoirse Ronan, is a member of the human rebellion that is fighting against them.

In the opening scene, Melanie risks her life by leading the “Seekers” away from her younger brother, and in turn, she is captured. She is placed as a host body for an alien lifeforce, but the transition is anything but smooth. Melanie is a fighter, and so her soul does not die, but becomes trapped in her body along with the alien force, who goes by the name Wanda.

I was curious just how “Stephenie Meyer” this storyline was going to be, and true to her voice, it’s a teenage love story with a triangle as well. Fans of Team Edward need only to tape over their t-shirts to read Team Jared, while Team Jacob groupies need to spray paint the name Ian over theirs. Father FAN-atics of the Team Carlisle breed are going to be disappointed when forced to vote for Team Uncle Jeb (played by William Hurt).

Team Jared!

Team Ian!

Team Uncle Jeb? … Um… Where’s Carlisle?

So – if you’re still with me on the storyline – Melanie/Wanda is living in the same body. Melanie loves Jared but Wanda has “human feelings” for Ian, and this after Ian tried to kill Melanie/Wanda, but then had a change of heart and swore he’d love Wanda even if she wasn’t Melanie/Wanda hybrid-humanost. Melanie gets mad when Wanda kisses Jared and Ian, yet there is a fair amount of kissing because this is a Stephenie Meyer story.

Melanie is a more redeeming female character than Bella Swan. At least Melanie never falls down just because. She cares about her brother, so I’ll give her that. But I’m still amazed at how fast these characters fall truly madly deeply in inter-species love. Vampire/Human, Human/Werewolf, Humanost/Human. But there’s a problem.

Wanda can’t be with Ian in her true form. Firecrackly electricity ball, remember? What’s a poor, little 1,000 year old sparkler to do?!

*****

I’m not going to just TELL YOU! You have to see the movie! Or read the book.  😛

Overall, I think the film was better than Twilight, but its characterization is very similar. If you can forgive and forget that two people who met in a hostage situation moments prior can now be soulmates and ready to die risking their lives to be together, then you’re going to LOVE this movie!!!

If, however, you require your cinematic viewing pleasure to contain some semblance of realism, then might I suggest Dexter?  😉

What did you think? Did you enjoy The Host? Have you read the book?

How important is believability in the movies? When is it ok to suspend belief?

The Great Book vs. Movie Debate

To read the book first? Or see the movie? That is the question.

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(image courtesy funnyjunk.com)

I find myself questioning my once sound logic. You see, I have always, ALWAYS, been a “see the movie” first kind of gal.

Hey! Stop running out of here, you bookworms! Let me explain!

I am a voracious reader too, and I love a good adaptation like the rest of you.

But if you really want to enjoy them BOTH – the book and the movie – then you’ve got to see the movie first.

Here’s why:

When you see the movie first, you are entertained, you enjoy the story, the cinematography, the effects, the ambiance. You have no preconceived notions of how a character looks or acts. You don’t know the order of events that will unfold. It is all new. Ergo, it’s exciting.

Yah, so if I’ve seen the movie, why should I care about the book, Smartypants? Huh?

Because often the movie IS different from the book! So reading the book, is like reading a new story. You may know the basic plot, but characters could surprise you, new faces may appear, added information becomes available! Therefore, it’s still exciting!

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From my extensive research, this has proved to be true:

Saw the movie first, also loved the book:

Read the book first, hated the movie:

Where my conundrum occurs is the TV and graphic novel series The Walking Dead. Which is the right path?

Walking Dead Decision Making

The Show! No, start with the comic! But the show… Gah!!!

I’ve tuned in for all 3 seasons of The Walking Dead now, and just finished reading Book One in the graphic novel series.

You know what?

I’M GETTING ANGRY AT THE BOOK!

Characters I love on the show aren’t in the book for very long. Romances that never happened on TV are consummated in black and white!

What the hell?! Now what am I supposed to believe?

Walking Dead

Only that you are wrong.

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I think I have to make an addendum to the rule.

Rule Addition When Dealing with Television Series: The person or persons may start the series by viewing the television version first, but may not proceed to a second season of said series until they have read the written work of the original, thereby not forming too strong of a relationship with TV created characters so as to be disappointed in the written ones.

What do you think?

Do you see the movie first? Read the book? Does it make a difference?

 

Crushes Then and Now (Ladies Edition)

Still swooning over your favorite then and now hotties? Well, the feast ain’t over yet!

Give it up for your favorite Crushes of Then and Now – Ladies Edition!

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The Shake Senora Crush

Winona Ryder

Everyone’s favorite ghoulish girlcrush! The Beetlejuice star who became the 90’s It Girl with films like Edward Scissorhands, Reality Bites, and The Crucible! All I can say is, “I saw Goody Ryder with the Devil…and she looked gooood.”

The Fresh Princess of Bel-Air Crush

Tatyana Ali

Will Smith’s younger, adorable cousin, Ashley Banks, on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Ashley was the naive, well-behaved youngest Banks child. She looked up to her street smart, fun-loving cousin, Will, and the dynamic made us all fall in love.

The Full House Crush

Candace Cameron

Ah, DJ Tanner from Full House – the slightly bossy, but incredibly smart eldest Tanner daughter. Your wholesome, girl next door crush, that is if you can deal with her obnoxious best friend, Kimmy Gibler!

The Immaculate Crush-action

Madonna

If you can handle this Material Girl, then life could be a Holiday. Remember to Express Yourself and she’ll Cherish you forever!

The Holy Hot Jackson Sister Crush

Janet Jackson

Watch the music video for her hit Again and tell me you’re not in love.

The Mannequin in the City Crush

Kim Cattrall

If you could make your dream girl out of a Mannequin, would you?

The I’d Let You Know All My Secrets Crush

Teri Hatcher

As reporter Lois Lane on Lois and Clark, Teri Hatcher gave us a taste of forbidden romance. Add to her resume the roll of a Bond girl, and we’re Desperate for more!

The Sweet Sixteen Crush

Molly Ringwald

The original Brat Pack Girl. Molly Ringwald was the voice of a generation in the cult classics Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, and Pretty in Pink. Admit it, you’d have paid to see her underwear!

The Will You Go Steady With Me? Crush

Tiffani Thiessen

The Saved by the Bell homegirl, Kelly Kapowski. What would you have done to get your locker next to hers?

The Dreamweaver Crush

Tia Carrere

Camera One. Camera Two. Camera One. Camera Two. Doesn’t matter how we look, Tia, you’re gorgeous! Blame it on a Ballroom Blitz! Schwing!

The Summer Lovin’ Crush

Olivia Newton John

Which song would you pick to be your song? A.) “Let’s get PHYSICAL! PHYSICAL!” or B.) “I got chills! They’re multiplying!” Olivia Newton John is electrifying!

The Animated Crush

Marge Simpson

That girlish figure. That grovelly voice. Need I say anymore?

The Barbarella Crush

Jane Fonda

Barbarella is a “5-star, double rated, astro-navigatrix earth girl whose specialty is LOVE!”

That was a quote from the movie trailer. When I finish interpreting it, I’ll tell you why Jane Fonda is your favorite foxy crush!

See Barbarella “do her thing.”

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Did your crush make the cut? Share your hotties (and notties) of then and now!

What to Watch on Date Night?

It’s no secret. I love movies. I would watch one every day if I could. Joe and I have been having some date night movie nights, and I thought I’d share some ideas to watch.

How to Pick a Movie for Date Night

Wine for the MoviesHow did that get there???

So you want to watch a movie, but don’t know what to pick, right? For this edition, we’ll focus on a few comedies and great storylines you’ll both enjoy!

Sports Movies You’ll Both Love!

The Cutting Edge

Starring D.B. Sweeney as an ex-hockey player whose only forward option is to partner figure skate with Olympic hopeful Moira Kelly. It’s the love story of opposites. Sweeney is playful, both in the rink and off. But Kelly is all hard work and practice. Can the two of them meet in the middle to win Olympic gold?

Major League

This movie is one of my favorites! A group of ball players, hand selected to be the worst team ever, push together to win the pennant. And if there’s a little romance story hidden amongst the locker room humor, the better for me!

Mr. Baseball

Another classic oldie but goodie. Tom Selleck stars as a once big ball player in the states who gets signed to the Japanese Dragons. Dumped in a new country where the customs and the etiquette of the game are different, it’s going to take some learning to get used to. Plus, Selleck is in top form in this movie. Fans of Three Men and a Baby will get the same humor they know and love.

Trouble With the Curve

Great cast of Clint Eastwood, Amy Adams, and Justin Timberlake! Eastwood plays a scout whose eyesight is failing. Adams is the estranged, but dutiful, daughter who goes scouting with him to help. And Timberlake is a new scout with a whole lot of respect for Eastwood. A smart movie that deals with the politics of baseball as well as family relationships. This one is sure to have something for everyone.

Field of Dreams

“If you build it, they will come.” – Field of Dreams is one of those iconic inspirational films you both will enjoy. When a corn farmer (Costner) starts hearing voices, he believes he’s supposed to build a baseball diamond in his yard. Some of the greatest ball players in history start to visit him, and this feel good movie takes off!

A League of Their Own

In my opinion, one can’t go wrong with Geena Davis. Men and women love her. Add to that Tom Hanks and Madonna, a movie full of history, laughter, baseball, and conflict will capture both your hearts. Just remember “there’s no crying in baseball!”

Cool Runnings

Based on the true story of the first Jamaican Olympic Bobsledding Team. It’s family friendly, full of laughs, and an inspirational story to boot. Add John Candy as their trainer and you’ve got classic 90’s humor.

Remember the Titans

Another true story of a high school football team’s evolution into mixed race games. Denzel Washington plays the newly hired African American coach who must unite his team together if they’re going to survive the season. Great soundtrack here as well.

Those are some of our favorites! What are yours?

What sports movies do you love to watch that double as great date night flicks?

Guilty Pleasures: Flashback Fun

Have you been reading the Movies Teach Us posts on Thoughts Appear? They are hilarious! The author, Thoughtsy, has been inviting her friends over to talk about lessons they learned from watching some of your favorite flicks.

Peg-o-leg talks about Romy and Michelle in What Happens After High School.

She’s a Maineiac blogged about the Breakfast Club with The Breakfast of Champions.

Go Jules Go blogged about Clueless’s Cher and Dion in Somebody Please Get a Clue.

and Misty’s Law blogged about The Princess Bride in As You Wish.

These fabulously funny ladies got me craving all kinds of flashback fun for this week’s guilty pleasure. And I hope they won’t mind me sharing a few of my own fave movies that teach.

Reality Bites

  • It is not ok to steal a candy bar at your job because you think your boss doesn’t pay you enough.
  • Ben Stiller will never be an appropriate love interest.
  • If you have something difficult to tell your parents, try acting it out with your friends first.
  • The answer is pizza.

The Truth About Cats and Dogs

  • If you really like a boy, it’s probably not a good idea to ask your model friend to pretend to be you.
  • Pinching the tips of a dog’s ear will calm them down.
  • Intimate phone conversations during bubble baths are the key to a man’s heart.

200 Cigarettes

  • The 90’s was when it was cool to love Courtney Love, and her band Hole, this is no longer true.
  • If you’re going to a party at your cousin’s house, remember to bring the address!
  • New Year’s Eve is magical, even if you smell like dog sh*t.
  • If you are feeling sad and lonely, don’t spend your night watching Love Story.

Bed of Roses

  • When a guy you barely know floods your apartment with sterling roses, it isn’t creepy in the slightest, it’s a grand romantic gesture.
  • When you get a gift a flowers, put a little 7up in the water. It sounds funny, but it works.
  • Scarlet’s Independent Love Song may be one of the best tunes in movie soundtrack history. Made even better by this awesome fan video…

Singles

  • When seeking a soulmate, all that’s really important is someone who says ‘God Bless You’ when you sneeze.
  • When making your singles profile tape, invite desired individuals to visit you in [Insert Your Name Here] Country. It’s more exotic.
  • If you really want someone to know how much you care, give them the remote that connects to your garage door opener.

Those are some of my favorite films for life’s educational purposes.

What are some of yours?

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