Surviving the Apocalypse…With Infomercials
The Apocalypse Has Arrived…
in Piper Bayard’s new book!
Firelands
Eighty years in the future, America has devolved into a totalitarian theocracy. The ruling Josephites clone the only seeds that grow in the post-apocalyptic climate, allowing their Prophet to control who eats, who starves, and who burns in the ritual fires that atone for society.
Subsisting on the fringes, Archer risks violation and death each day as she scours the forest for game to feed her people. When a Josephite refugee seeks sanctuary in her home, Archer is driven to chance a desperate gamble—a gamble that will bring down the Prophet and deliver seeds and freedom, or end in a fiery death for herself and for everyone she loves.
Seeds are life . . . Seeds are power . . . Seeds are the only hope of a despairing people. What will Archer do for the seeds of freedom, and what will she justify in their name?
*****
If you don’t follow Piper’s blog, you’re missing out! She, and her partner in espionage, Holmes, take on current events, the lives of spies, and a fantastic series called “The End of the World is Near…(And We Deserve it Too)” – which features all those crazy YouTube videos we see that make us scratch us our heads.
In honor of her new book, Piper’s hosting an Apocalypse Challenge for readers and bloggers! YOU CAN STILL ENTER! Click the link to see her great Apocalypse Prize Package (it includes BACON!)! Winners will be announced on July 19th!
I thought I’d take a cue from my friend Piper and dream up how I’d survive the apocalypse…
ON NOTHING BUT INFOMERCIAL GOODS!!!
Muahahahahaha
How to Survive the Apocalypse With Infomercial Goods:
1. First things first. Food preservation.
In Firelands, it’s all about being able to eat. So I hope I face the Apocalypse with Gyro Bowl!
Whew! Now I don’t have to worry about spilling any of my snacks, and I can keep my food fresh! When I’m done eating, I can store things in my Gyro Bowl too…like bullets!
2. Cardio.
Haven’t you seen Zombieland? It’s always about the cardio! You’re going to need a Shake Weight. Get that heart rate pumping some red gold!
Just shake it!
3. Find a friend!
There’s safety in numbers. And who wants to travel alone anyway? I hope I get to hike through an apocalyptic no man’s land with Perfect Polly.
There are so many advantages to Perfect Polly, I don’t know where to begin!
4. Get some zzz’s.
You may need to sleep where you can find it. That could mean camping. *shudder* Wherever I have to lay down, I’m bringing my Chillow!
It’s going to be so nice to have when the Godfire reigns down.
5. Be prepared.
When facing the apocalypse, you have to be ready for anything. I can’t think of a better multi-purpose tool than a Sham Wow Towel.
My boyfriend thought these were so cool, he gave them to me as an anniversary gift. #TrueStory
…
Then I made him buy me a new anniversary gift. 😀
That’s how I’d take on the apocalypse!
What would you want to pack with you?
And be sure to get a copy of Piper’s new book, Firelands!
Must Read Monday
Hello friends! I’m catching up on my NaNo goals today, so no post from me, but I won’t leave you empty handed. Check out my favorite posts from the past week. There’s a bit of something for everyone, practical writing advice, book reviews, creepy legends, and hilarious love advice!
Word Stuff:
MuseInks gives us the Top 5 Reasons You Should Do NaNoWriMo. Reason number 6: It’s fun!
Kristen Lamb talks Successful Writers and the real truth about the word “lucky.” A must read for all writer wannabees. Take control of your career!
Kristen Lamb also did a post about how to focus on relationships with other writers. She warns you of the bad advice and assists with how to make a real connection happen in How to Win the Hearts of Bloggers – Scoring the Book Review, Guest Post, or Interview.
Freshly Pressed blogger, Jolie O’Dell, gave her Secrets to Productivity recently and really revealed how this gets her a jump start ahead of her peers and what tricks she uses to help wake up in the morning.
Writer Unboxed shared a guest post on how to Be a More Confident Writer and offer 5 tips to help you on your way.
Jillian at A Room of One’s Own wrote a beautiful review on the biography and history of author Laura Ingalls Wilder. Get swept away into The Big Woods of Little House on the Prairie creator.
Health and Wellness:
Mark Landen gives you the health advice and brain foods you’ll need this fall to crack your “WIP” into place. *LOL, I’m hilarious! Ok, seriously* Must read: 11 Ways to a Healthy Brain and Healthy Writing.
Piper Bayard gives us the health care resolution for her presidential candidacy: Granny Care, Putting the Care Back in Health Care. To which I may add, a vote for Granny is a vote for free chicken noodle soup for all!
Social Trends of the Season:
Margaret Reyes Dempsey guest blogs at Celluloid Zombie about the Willing Suspension of Disbelief for movie watchers everywhere. Join the heated debate: 300 zombies out of nowhere, now spotted yards in front of you with binoculars…believe it or not?!
If you haven’t yet checked out Gene Lempp’s Zoo Arcane series, you’re missing out. He’s got great mythology research, enticing book ideas for your use, and never fails to find something most of us have never heard of before. His latest spooky series was on Evil Little People, a title I’ll try not to take personally at my whopping 5’2″. 😛
Amber West’s edition of Worth a Watch Wednesday was on ABC’s new show Once Upon a Time. Fairytales and present day crime drama combine. Just caught my first episode Sunday night, and I’m intrigued!
Looking for love in all the wrong places? Tawna Fenske just may have the answers after cat-sitting for a friend. For a good time, read Please Pee So I’ll Know if You’re Sexy.
Any other NaNo’s out there? How’s it going? And everyone else, what fun have you been up to since we’re all shut inside?
Monday Morning Mash-Up
It’s monday morning and I hope you all get a chance to settle into your favorite chair and sip your coffee/tea of choice. My morning is starting with a banana bar my dad made! Mmmm. I’ve been trying to get to more blogs this week and see what everyone’s been up to. Here’s my favorite reads from the past week, take your time and enjoy these great writers! Happy monday!
Writers and Readers:
Pam Hawley blogged about writing letters to herself to overcome writer’s block in this past week’s Life List Club guest post. She shows blankness who’s boss with humor and inspiration.
Marcia Richards interviews Jody Hedlund about her new book The Doctor’s Lady and what historical character from the Oregon Trail inspired her to write this book!
Renee Schuls-Jacobson blogs about learning from mistakes in The Day I Got It All Wrong. Go on, laugh WITH her, and share your own learning opportunities if you feel comfortable. Gotta tell you, Renee rocks! You’ll be in a safe space! As long as she’s not throwing things.
Sara Grambusch blogs about How to Pay (almost) Nothing for Books. Her energy and enthusiasm for the reading process and writer connections will draw you in!
A MUST-READ for writers, Kristen Lamb blogs the 7 Deadly Sins of Writing. She graciously shares her own learning experience and tips to beat these writing dead ends.
Paranormal/Mythology:
Gene Lempp’s creature features are superb in his Designing from Bones series. His post on Zoo Arcane: Pterodactyl, Luck Owl, Elder Phoenix was really fascinating to read and imagine encountering these animals.
Catie Rhodes dug up some fascinating spooky history in Ouija Board: Toy or Tool? Read at your own risk!
Pure Fun:
Piper Bayard and her partner Holmes take on your Labors of Love. Do you have a question for Dr. Piper and Dr. Holmes? Join in the fun as they solve all love’s conundrums, from True Blood love triangles to using nookie to entice your hubby to talk to you! It’s rollicking Cupid-filled fun!
A fun new blogger I’ve met, Little Miss Vix, asks readers who their favorite Disney character is, and shares with us why she LOVES Beauty and Beast.
Katie Ganshert shares her real life romance story with us, and asks you to share your own. What kind of couple are you? If you’re still looking, who do you imagine you’ll be?
Did I miss anything? Share your favorite post links in the comments below and I promise to check them out! I may even share my banana bar with you. 🙂
Jess Witkins' Happiness Project 