All writers and bloggers know that SEO (Search Engine Optimization) is a crucial part of establishing your online brand. Tags and Keywords are required in order for the Internet Gods to find you and connect you with readers. With tags, we have a say. We can edit our own tags to include the subject matter we blog about in hopes that interested readers will search those tags and find us. For example, I’ve tagged this post to come up in searches for my name, my blog’s name, SEO, blogging, and writers.
We can influence keywords as well, but the Internet Gods that be (on the seventh day they tweeted) will also pull things from our posts based on wording we’ve used and formatting.
Every now and then I like to take a peak at my blog stats to see what search terms led people to find my little hub in the great wide blogosphere. And the randomness of some of the search terms never ceases to amuse me.
In the past, you may have found my blog by searching one or all of the following phrases:
- how to do the Peanuts dance
- dino erotica
- what defined the 80’s
- things to blog about that start with ‘S’
- vampire attacks
- claimed vampire attacks in 2013
- covered up vampire attacks
Why, YES I CAN instruct you how to do the Peanuts dance, why you SHOULDN’T buy dino erotica, what defined the 80’s (I’ll save you the read – it’s fanny packs), things to blog about that start with ‘S’ (you could also consult a dictionary, but I’ve got some ideas – Snuggies, sleep, sloths, the character Sloth from the movie The Goonies…). And I can tell you about ONE claimed vampire attack in 2013 that may in fact be a cover up by a moderately well known band.
Now, I like to imagine you, Dear Readers, opening your Google search engines and writing to me personally, like Dear Abby, all of your quizzical interweb wonderings. I think of your search terms as love notes. And I hope that I can answer your questions.
My Campaign Slogan – just in time for election day!
But lately, I’m beginning to feel like we should see other people. Your requests have gotten out of hand. And I think it’s time we introduce a safe word. You know, something to say when one of us feels the other has the crossed the line. How about ‘parakeet‘? I think it works because I dislike them too.
A week ago when I looked at the search terms that led you here, I was flummoxed. And more than a little uncomfortable.
Recent Search Terms That Led You to the Happiness Project:
- inside LDS temples
- scary ouija board conversations
- what to wear in the tundra
- what does it mean if you draw a swing
- dragon hill spa placenta
- i dreamed there was 5 little orphan baby bats all snuffling dreams
- girls and boars
- sideshow freak posters
- queens drinking tea
- Tia Carrere’s legs
- Jonathan Crombie’s girlfriend
- inflatable handcuffs hahaha
- how to fix a box fan
- ideas of how to dress like The Hulk
- hippies, gypsies, no bras and no squares
- absurdist quirky films
- Willoughby “the slime”
- German women in dirndls
- absurdly romantic things to say to a woman
- what causes super human hearing
- sex free friendship with old Indian woman
Who am I to you, SEO? Do you even know me? I thought we loved one another.
I think it’s time we slow things down, SEO. NaNoWriMo is starting and I just don’t have time for this. Come talk to me when you’re not drunk. You’ve got my number.
Follow up Request to the Internet Gods
Dear Internet Lords,
I just called for a break between me and my SEO. Lately I feel like he doesn’t get me anymore. And he’s always asking me for the strangest requests. I’m tired and I feel like he doesn’t respect me anymore. What should I do? Oh, and how do I change my blog relationship status to ‘It’s Complicated’?
Baffled and Blogging
What’s your SEO relationship like?
or Write me your best Dear Abby response!
I know, it’s been awhile. I’ve been a naughty blogger. I didn’t post at all last week cause I was sick with a cold and pretty much had no idea what to write about. I did get some work done on my book though, which is good and bad. Good – because my goal is to be a published, professional writer. But bad – or maybe more accurately sad, because I missed you all and felt guilty for ignoring you in favor of sweatpants, Echinacea, kleenex, and the Harry Potter marathon that was on all day Saturday.
Which leads me to an update. As much as I hate to say it, and I really do, I’ll be cutting my posts back to once a week. I have to focus on edits right now, and I need the extra time to get them done. There’s going to be a lot of this going on…
I will have some awesome guest bloggers joining me next month so stay tuned for guest posts from animal expert Amy Shojai and mystery writer extraordinaire Kathy Owen – both of whom have new books coming out! Holla!
In procrastinating writing a new blog post, I perused my recent blog stats page to see what amazing search terms led people to my blog.
You know what I learned?
I’m apparently writing an educational blog series!
I mean, people are popping over here to learn all kinds of information. Just in the last 30 days, here’s a list of topics I’ve been their go to source for:
- Mount Rushmore holes in eyes – um, ok
- how to do the Peanuts dance – well sure
- dino erotica – this will not be on next year’s syllabus
- Barret Oliver
- what defined the 80’s
- things to blog about that start with ‘S’ – don’t ask me about the letter ‘E’, I have no idea!
- do older ouija boards work better – I don’t know, I don’t plan to touch one ever again.
wicked musical party supplies – I’m better with Oscar parties.
- reports of vampire attacks in 2013
- claimed vampire attacks in 2013
- covered up vampire attacks
- vampire attacks – For. Realz.
- missing your dad who died from positive quotes – I have a question for you, how does one die from the power of affirmation phrases?
- travel necessities in Korea
- how long does it take for a tarot reading to come true
- how many nominations did The Hobbit get
I’m so pleased I could be your reference on so many broad topics. I shall strive to elaborate and educate on many more in 2014.
Now, raise those hands. Who’s got a topic they want to talk about in class?
Now, my twitter profile picture actually looks like me! It was kind of fun though, having an online makeover. I went from long hair and bangs to a short pixie cut! And of course, Julie ran wild with it on twitter, telling everyone she cut my hair in the hotel room last night. LOL.
With a little help from Julie, I was feeling brave and clicky! I went to edit my profile and figured out how to upload a photo of mine as my background! Now when you view my twitter page, you can see the view from the bluffs, overlooking Myrick Marsh! A favorite hiking spot of mine.
Then there was Jillian Dodd, who taught Julie and I about Search Engine Optimization. She links her name to her book title, or to key themes of her blogs, as well as the phrases themselves to best help people find her online. We got into an interesting discussion all about SEO. I’m still no expert, so if you want to know more about it, read Kristen Lamb’s post Search Engines – Your Personal Genie to Build Your Author Brand.
Jillian also shared with us how much of her blog reading and twitter comments she does from her phone!
I know, right? Using your phone as your office on the go! That’s ingenious! She must work for Apple.
So, now, yours truly downloaded the WordPress app, and I’m loving it! Now, I use my lunch hour at the dreaded day job to read and comment on your blogs! Or to reply to comments I receive! Now, I don’t feel like I’m running to my computer to catch up anymore once I’m home.
But, I didn’t stop there! Oh no! I downloaded the WP app for my kindle, and also downloaded the Kindle for PC app on my computer. I needed it when I had to try to transfer a .mobi file onto my kindle and after wasting an hour, *head desk*, realized I couldn’t do it cause I didn’t have the adapter plug in. However, I can now access those files and all my downloaded books on my computer as well as my kindle! What sweet, sweet ease!
Lastly, more thoughtful advice came from Julie when I asked her how she learned how to do all this stuff? I always feel so clueless. And I won’t lie, I am totally that individual that won’t click on any buttons they don’t know cause I BELIEVE my computer will self destruct. I’m that
You know what she does? She YouTubes it! She looks for tutorials or blog posts that walk you through how to do it. I LOVE THIS IDEA! I’m such a visual learner!
I don’t know why I never thought of that, but I’m so happy Julie did. And I’m even more happy that Julie shared it with me.
So, what’s my guilty pleasure this week? It’s people. People who know Technological-techy-computer-kindle-phone stuff. They’re good peeps.
What’s your latest guilty pleasure or tech lesson?