Sh*t My Husband Says While Sleeping: Star Wars Edition
This is my husband, Joe.
To clarify, he’s the non-reptile one.
Joe likes road trips, playing 2 recorders at once,
and making his wife sing songs with him.
Joe also talks in his sleep. Sometimes he laughs about things like crackers and email, and other times he stresses over where to store hot water.
Whatever he says, it’s typically entertaining, so I like to share it with all of you!
Recently, we went to see the new Star Wars movie, The Force Awakens. We both really liked it! And I guess he had the movie on his mind one night when I overheard this…
Joe: Aiding and abetting…
Me: What?
Joe: Chewbacca lovers.
Me: What about them?
Joe: I don’t know… They’re up to something.
Me: …
Then, a few nights later, he made this random statement.
Joe: I wish I had some coconut oil.
Me: …
He claims that dream came from a Facebook ad in his feed about coconut oil being a fix-all solution for any problem. Sure, Joe. Whatever you say.
What do YOU think the Chewbacca lovers are up to?
*****
And in case you missed it, celebrity themed movie marathons are back! Every wednesday night this January, we’re watching an Emilio Estevez film and celebrating #EmilioFestevez!!!
Watch along and live tweet the film using the #EmilioFestevez hashtag.
And now, there’s a Facebook group for that!!
Movie marathons are bi-monthly, and if Twitter’s not your thing, you can hangout on Facebook too. Find out the movie lineups, share your ideas for future marathons, and meet other film-loving fools like you! Hope to see you there!
Sh*t My Husband Says While Sleeping, Vol. 3
He’s baaaaaack!
Maybe it was the onset of school starting (him being a teacher and all). Maybe it’s the change of the seasons. Whatever the reason, my hubby has started talking in his sleep again.
If you’re new here, this is my husband.
His name is Joe.
He’s a fan of hot sauce, guitar solos, and
beard oil for facial hair maintenance.
Occasionally, Joe talks in his sleep. Sometimes he calls me his “little pear juice” or starts laughing about crackers and email.
And then there are times, when he’s fast asleep, and he says shit like this:
Joe: It’s hot.
Me: Are you too hot?
Joe: It’s time to install the hot tub.
Me: Hot tub?
Joe: Where should we put it?
Me: What???
Joe: Don’t you think we need one? To store all this hot water?
Me: …
I don’t… Yah, we’re not getting a hot tub. We’ve never discussed getting a hot tub, and if we ever DO get a hot tub, I am confident that Joe would not install it himself.
Where do YOU keep your hot water?
*****
P.S. We’re coming up on week 2 of #Keanuthon. Thanks to all who watched Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure with us! We found out it was his birthday on the 2nd, so what a great day to kick off the party!
Here is one of my favorite tweets from the event, which came from my movie-clueless friend, Heather. This was a legitimate question she asked before coming over. Oh, Lawd.
This week we’re watching Point Break, the one where Keanu plays an FBI agent who goes undercover to catch a bunch of bank robbers that might be surfers. Costars include Patrick Swayze (with what is possibly the most epic of surfer hair imaginable), Gary Busey as his FBI partner, and John C. McGinley (who you may know as Dr. Perry Cox from Scrubs).
The preview promises 100% pure adrenaline!!
Watch along with us at 8pm CST this wednesday and live tweet the movie using #Keanuthon. Hope to see you there!
Enjoy your week, everyone!
Sh*t My Husband Says While Sleeping
Set your coffee down, folks! It’s time for another round of “Sh*t My Husband Says While Sleeping,” the reoccurring blog series that pops up…whenever I remember to write down the batsh*t things comin’ outa his mouth!
First, meet my husband.
This is Joe.
He likes short walks through the grocery store, old school Keanu Reeves movies,
and growing facial hair.
***
Now, Joe talks in his sleep. When that happens, he occasionally refers to me as “his little pear juice.”
It isn’t all the time, and he can’t control it, but he says the WEIRDEST things when he sleep talks.
Here are a few of his latest sleep disturbances…
Example No. 1
***
Joe: Did you wanna take the bear?
Me: What bear? What’s his name?
Joe: Holia.
Me: Where’d you meet him?
*silence*
Me:
Example No. 2
***
Joe: Mmmm Mmmm good! That’s what it is.
Me: What’s good?
Me:
On the flip side, if his REM antics become popular, I might consider switching the tag line of this blog to “Mmmm Mmmm good. That’s what it is.” How do you think that’ll look on a business card?
Where do YOU think Joe met the bear?
Things Joe Says When He’s Sleeping
Exhibit A: Joe sleeping
My fiance talks in his sleep. And nothing he says makes sense.
The conversations he has while sleeping rarely relate to anything we’ve done during the day. Although I guess I could count the time we watched The Walking Dead one Sunday night and he muttered this gem while asleep:
Joe: Why are there no zombies in Australia?
Me: What?
Joe: *shouts* WHY??
Who shouts in their sleep about zombie settlements?!
In the words of my mother, “You’re not allowed to watch those shows before bedtime anymore.”
This weekend, he apparently was quoting movie lines in his sleep, but I didn’t get the reference. All I heard was this:
Joe: Be happy in your work, Pear.
Me: What?
Joe: Be happy in your work, Pear.
Me: Who’s Pear?
Joe: You are. You’re my little Pear Juice.
Me: *shakes head, rolls over, goes back to bed*
He was quoting lines from the movie, Club Dread, a film we watched MONTHS ago.
There’s a Pac-Man like maze in the movie where the employees dress up like fruit.
You better run, Banana!
I can only hope that the ludicrous things coming out of his mouth continue and that this can become a reoccurring blog series. Sure he’s talking about zombie migration and bad Broken Lizard films today, but tomorrow who knows? He just might solve world peace!
But if he doesn’t, you can bet I’ll have lots more to write about. 😉
So thanks, Joe, for keeping it entertaining!
Your Little Pear Juice, or whatever,
Jess
Do you talk in your sleep? Does your partner?
What strange quirks do you or your partner have?
Jess Witkins' Happiness Project 