About

Jess Witkins claims the title Perseverance Expert. From party crashing as an Oops Baby to paving her way through pop culture, Jess explores it all. Her special skills include: Pretending to be an orphan, severe allergic reactions to the sun, hanging out in coffee shops, and quoting movie lines from the Oscar winning film, Spaceballs.

…What do you mean Spaceballs never won an Oscar? You’re joking!…

…You’re not joking?…

…I need to think about this…

…Despite your, and apparently the Academy’s, lack of appreciation for Spaceballs, I’ve decided we can still be friends…

Hang out with me on my blog where I attempt to make pathetic look cool. You’re welcome to laugh with me, or at me, as I find the humorous side in life.

Go ahead, SUBSCRIBE, you know you want to.

BEWARE: This blog is not safe to read.

Side Effects May Include: Running into Circus Cages, Drinking Wine from a Canteen, and Laughing So Hard You Poop Your Pants. Enjoy!

P.S. These things are true:  The Day I Smashed My Face at Circus World, Left for Dead in Hixon Forest, and Love Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry (for Sh*tting Your Pants).

Follow on Twitter:  @jesswitkins
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E-mail: jessi.witkins (AT) gmail (DOT) com

PROFESSIONAL BIO:

Jess Witkins is a writer, blogger, and storyteller. Sometimes, she’s funny. Her mission: making pathetic look cool since 1985. Jess has been a freelance writer for the past six years with publications in The Indie Chicks, L.I.N.K. Magazine, Coulee Region Women, Coulee Parenting Connection, and Organic Valley’s blog, Rootstock. Her creative writing has appeared most recently in Ariel Chart and Rising Phoenix Review. She has an essay in the anthology, “What Remains: The Many Ways We Say Goodbye,” with Gelles Cole Literary Enterprises. She is president of the Mississippi Valley Writers Guild, a nonprofit writing community based in La Crosse, WI. She’s been a local director and producer for the national storytelling series, Listen To Your Mother. Currently, she spends her time working in a public library, wordmongering on her manuscript, doing voiceover work or storytelling for various projects, and occasionally leading ghost tours.