The other night I couldn’t sleep. Wisconsin was having one of its crazy fits of weather and we’d gone from cold and rainy to thunderous and muggy in a matter of hours. I tried everything. I read for awhile, I moved around, I turned off every light I could think of. Wide awake! So I flipped the TV on to zone out for awhile and what did I find?
Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet my Newest Guilty Pleasure:
Dance Moms Miami
Please, let me tell you more! Staying up until 3am watching this crew, I’ve learned a lot.
Victor and Angel: Longtime friends, Victor Smalley and Angel Armas, are the owners and choreographers of Stars Dance Studio. Their motto: “Turning Kids Into Dancers and Dancers into Stars.” Victor you may recognize as he is now heavily requested for his choreography after being a finalist on Season Six of “So You Think You Can Dance.” Victor is the young, mostly heart, pep talker of the duo, and Angel is the business side, very disciplined, with high expectations for his dancers. Together, they’re shaping their dance team into professionals, learning when it’s time to work, you work, always earning your place on top of The List, a weekly breakdown of each dancer’s performance and behavior. Positioning on The List earns you chances for solo competition.
Ani and Kimmy: Are you ready for this? Meet the only sweet pair in the bunch. Kimmy is an adorable and kind hearted perfectionist. She was recently given a solo to a song all about being bad, and the girl had never done anything bad! Her homework assignment was to misbehave. You know what she did?! Another dancer threw pistachios at her, and she threw them back! Scandalous!
Ani is also the only adorable mom. Staying out of the drama for the most part, her only anxieties show when she watches how hard her daughter practices to dance perfectly.
Abby and Sammy: New mom on the block, Abby, better prepare herself as daughter Sammy climbs The List. The other moms have their claws out and ready.
Which brings me to Debi and Hannah. While I love how hard Hannah tries and the fun she clearly has dancing, her mom is a new form of batsh*t crazy! Whether it’s gossiping, using the other moms as her minions, or full on sabotoge, Debi’s got it covered.
Susan and Jessi: Rivaling Debi for the Most Crazy Mom award is Susan. As daughter Jessi is the oldest and been working with Victor and Angel longest, there’s some entitlement issues happening here! But Jessi recently went to the bottom of The List after her poor sportsmanship was caught on camera, ripping the team’s trophy out of her teammate’s hands! Tsk, tsk!
But the pressure is totally on. Jessi’s mom is ridiculously tough on her daughter to the point where Victor and Angel stepped in to tell her stop trying to train her at home because she’s coming to class tired! After the whole trophy fiasco and teary apology scene, Victor gave Jessi a hug and a “there, there.” Angel was immediately on him for reinforcing bad behavior to which Victor replied, “It’s not her fault her mom is crazy!” That might be my favorite line of the show!
Lastly, there’s Brigette and Lucas. As the only boy in the group, Lucas, often gets to shine. He’s an amazing dancer and his mother is his biggest fan. Brigette is the lightswitch of the group, if Lucas is on top, she’s all happy and shiny, but if he has a bad week, expect things to go dark…quickly.
Check out this hilarious video of the team’s group number to the song “City Boy.”
So, what exactly did I learn from this new guilty pleasure that seemed absolutely amazing at 3 am in the morning?!
- Be fierce!
- Work hard!
- Own your mistakes, then let them go.
- Dance Moms are Crazy People!
- It’s not your fault if your mom’s loco!
Thanks for stopping by you guys! I had too much fun gushing over this guilty pleasure! What’s been your latest guilty find? And stick around for one more fun video – where the Dance Moms show you there favorite dance moves!
Ever wonder why your parents made some of the decisions they did? No, you cannot take the turtle into bed with you! No, you may not watch Pink Floyd’s The Wall with your brother! No, you may not eat double stuff oreos, and I don’t care if Liz’s mom lets her!
My mom is a great mom. She writes in perfect cursive penmanship, has impeccable spelling, pays attention to detail, writes long letters and mails them with real stamps and envelopes and everything. She likes to sing, read mystery books, bake a variety of coffee cakes, and spy out the windows.
But I have one bone to pick with my mother. Throughout my childhood, on countless trips to the grocery store, she would never let me get double stuff oreos! This woman who rarely enforced rules about vegetables, or clean plate clubs, who married a baker, son of a woman who enforced dessert before dinner, wouldn’t let me eat double stuff oreos! Hell, I had coca cola in my sippy cups!!! (That may be why I stopped growing in eighth grade.)
This anti-oreo rule never made sense to me. I was a child who liked milk. I had contests with my father over who could drink their milk the fastest at dinner. I don’t know if you’re aware, but milk and oreos are like made for each other, best friends forever, kindred spirits from the galactic orbs of destined to be together soulmates! I bet if you eat an oreo without milk, your heart shrinks a little.
I reiterate my mother’s inconsistent lessons about the value of a nutritional diet; my mother had her days where cooking was not placed on the top of the list, in fact it was scribbled out and snipped straightly off the bottom of the notepad. Those days were called Sundays, or any other day one of her favorite TV shows was on. On these days we ate popcorn for dinner. Popcorn and slices of cheddar cheese. Maybe, maybe I’d have to eat like 4 slices of an apple. I never complained. I loved popcorn nights! Those of you who know me can attest I have an affinity for airy, crunchy snacks at mealtime.
As the years passed, I grew older, she refused to buy double stuff oreos. When I first moved out and began to buy my own groceries, I followed her approach in mastering the marketplace. Simply put, take your sweet time going up and down every aisle. You can make a list, sure, but it’s fun to add to it with new items that sound exotic and delectable like bagel chips. Is it more bagel or more chip, I don’t know, but their deliciousness drives me mad!
On one such shopping trip, I happened down the cookie aisle and low and behold on the very end, right at eye level, was that familiar looking Nabisco symbol in the corner of the shiny blue packaging. I picked up the package, looked side to side to see if anyone was watching, looked up to see if lightening bolts were crashing down and it appeared…no one gave a damn. So I put them in my cart. But as I wheeled around the aisle to the checkout, I couldn’t help but smirk. Take that, Mom!
What are the ridiculous rules your parents enforced? Did you ever protest? Did your rebellion taste as sweet and chocolately as mine?