Sh*t My Husband Says While Sleeping, Vol. 3

He’s baaaaaack!

Maybe it was the onset of school starting (him being a teacher and all). Maybe it’s the change of the seasons. Whatever the reason, my hubby has started talking in his sleep again.

If you’re new here, this is my husband.

Joe readingHis name is Joe. 
He’s a fan of hot sauce, guitar solos, and
beard oil for facial hair maintenance.

Occasionally, Joe talks in his sleep. Sometimes he calls me his “little pear juice” or starts laughing about crackers and email.

And then there are times, when he’s fast asleep, and he says shit like this: 

Joe: It’s hot.

Me: Are you too hot?

Joe: It’s time to install the hot tub.

Me: Hot tub?

Joe: Where should we put it?

Me: What???

Joe: Don’t you think we need one? To store all this hot water?

Me: …

I don’t… Yah, we’re not getting a hot tub. We’ve never discussed getting a hot tub, and if we ever DO get a hot tub, I am confident that Joe would not install it himself.

Where do YOU keep your hot water? 

P.S. We’re coming up on week 2 of #Keanuthon. Thanks to all who watched Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure with us! We found out it was his birthday on the 2nd, so what a great day to kick off the party!


Here is one of my favorite tweets from the event, which came from my movie-clueless friend, Heather. This was a legitimate question she asked before coming over. Oh, Lawd.

This week we’re watching Point Break, the one where Keanu plays an FBI agent who goes undercover to catch a bunch of bank robbers that might be surfers. Costars include Patrick Swayze (with what is possibly the most epic of surfer hair imaginable), Gary Busey as his FBI partner, and John C. McGinley (who you may know as Dr. Perry Cox from Scrubs).

The preview promises 100% pure adrenaline!!

Watch along with us at 8pm CST this wednesday and live tweet the movie using #Keanuthon. Hope to see you there!

Enjoy your week, everyone!

21 responses

  1. Someone once told me that I sang the theme song to Zoom in my sleep.

    “C’mon an’ Zoom! C’mon an’ Zoom! C’mon an’Zoom! C’mon an’ Zoom! C’mon an’ Zoomba Zoomba Zoomba Zoom!”

  2. Haha! I have totally been that talking in her sleep girl before! I cannot imagine being the “awake one”, and all the sh*t that is overheard. So funny!

    1. You should have Lina start recording you! LOL

  3. When I was in college, my dad fell asleep in his favorite chair. He woke up and said to me, “you can’t take the leather.” “what dad?” “you know, the whip.”

    I pray to Jesus he was dreaming he was Indiana Jones.

    1. Bahahahaha! That’s disturbing. Yah let’s go with Indiana Jones.

      1. I wonder how quotable I am in my sleep.

  4. Ay, Dios mio! Que mucho habla tu esposo! 🙂

    1. Thank goodness he finds it just as funny and let’s me write about it. 😄

  5. He’s adorable! My husband has fights in his sleep. He starts swearing and kicking his feet…I s l o w l y slide out of bed, he starts flailing. It’s quite the sight.

    1. I am so grateful Joe does not hit in his sleep. I was at a sleepover once with friends and I did get smacked in the face while a girl was sleeping. Scared the bejeezus out of me! You be safe with all that flailing!

  6. When I was younger, I was a sleepwalker, not a sleeptalker. I can’t decide which is worse: the possibility of being harmed physically, or accidentally saying something your spouse finds offensive. Which might then lead to physical harm. I guess it’s a draw…

    1. Sleep walking would scare me a lot more. Both witnessing and doing so.

  7. Keanu and Patrick, can’t get better than that.

  8. Well at least he keeps you entertained. Not that I am huge Keanu fan, but I really liked Point Break. And Sweet November. So the hubs doesn’t do romance movies, eh? Oh well. I wonder what he’ll be talking about tonight. Another #hot tub adventure? 🙂

    1. Yah there was no way Sweet November or Lake House were gonna make it on the list. But there are romantic elements in all of the films we did choose. Tyler is a badass chick in Point Break.

  9. I’ve been informed (by Mathair and a few others) that I talk in my sleep as well. I say off the wall things like, “There are fifty blue plates on the table.” and I even once had a full on conversation with Tinkerbell. I’m sure Mathair was convinced I was in dire need of a thorazine drip until she realized it was a side effect of sheer exhaustion and/or an overactive imagination. lol

    1. Hahaha. That’s so cryptic. 50 blue plates. I’d be so freaked out. But Tinkerbell is pretty funny. You should let Mathair blog about it. 😉

      1. I may never live it down if it goes public. hahaha

  10. […] Joe also talks in his sleep. Sometimes he laughs about things like crackers and email, and other times he stresses over where to store hot water. […]

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